Spilling The Tea, Part 3: Destroying my Longest Friendship — Hello hello! I’m very happy to see you here this week. After the first two installment of ‘Spilling The Tea’, I received a large amount of out-pouring support from everyone who related to the stories. I read every single message with a smile, and really, all of your messages covered me like a warm blanket. Hopefully, sharing these things with you has been a warm blanket to you, as well. Dear reader, you’re almost like a friend of mine. Hell, you are a friend of mine! However, if we’re friends, then I need to start being more honest with you: I haven’t always been the protagonist in every one of my stories. What if I told you that sometimes, I’m not always the good guy, and sometimes, things fall into a grey area? One of my closest friends, Katie, used to read my blog. Katie and I shared an 8+ year friendship that started before my tea blog took off. This friendship also started before her career took off, too. We initially met on an online chatroom dedicated to tea. While in this online chatroom, the topic of music came up. During this conversation, we talked about being mutual fans of the same band. With this conversation, we learned that we had more in common with each other than once initially thought. Shortly thereafter, we became virtual besties. You know the moment in each and every one of your friendships, when you just knew that your friendship was cosmic? Like, an astral event that only the Gods could create, for your paths to align at just the right moment? This event happened when I opened my private chat with Kaite and saw a distressing message from her. “I just moved across a brand new city, and I’m locked outside of my new apartment. My landlord isn’t answering. What should I do?” Katie lived in another country than me, and there was nothing I could do, except, provide an ear. We lived thousands of miles away from each other, and yet, just being there for Katie was enough to help her. Katie was in a transition of her own - she was moving across the country to start her new professional caree. As for myself, I was in a transition of my own — I had been recovering from homelessness, as a result of coming out of the closet as gay. Although we were facing very different life events, it was sort of the same, right? We were both relocating to a new place, both starting new chapters in our lives, and we had the support of each other. Katie and I would message each other on and off and sometimes go periods without hearing from each other. We would like each other's photos on social media, throw ideas back and forth to each other, and support each other’s journeys. However, all of this changed when the 2020 global COVID-19 pandemic hit. The world shut down. All tea spaces shut down. Everyone went inside and locked the doors as the world went dark… Katie and I were affected by the pandemic, however, things didn’t really change. Katie and I had made most of our friendships through virtual spaces, and although the outside world around us was having a crisis, Katie and I were not. While everyone adjusted to doing everything virtually, Katie and I were already there. Our friendship blossomed as we had regular virtual tea sessions with each other, and over the next two years, we had virtual tea parties with each other, as well as with other tea bloggers. Katie was moving up in the company she had worked at, and I had moved from Missouri to Colorado. Despite the changing atmospheres of the worlds around us, we still had each other. In fact, Katie and I joined a semi-regular virtual D&D game that my ex had hosted for us (yes, the same ex from last week’s story). We had mastered the perfect virtual online friendship. Until we didn’t. Like they say, not everything gold can stay. Last year, I started to mentally down-spiral. I had referenced this downward spiral on my blog several times in the past year (including my 8th blog anniversary post and my pride-essay post). Without going into the details of it (and without turning this week’s post into a full-length novel), I’ll give you a quick break-down: I lost several important friendships, as well as an 8-month-long planned partnership with another tea company, all within the same 2 weeks. This, when added to being socially secluded, resulted in me being suicidally isolated. Ok, reader, we should now be on the same page! While in this social isolation, I spent upward of five months in a row without having a hug from anyone. Without meeting any friends in person. And worse of all, Katie dropping off my radar… I sent a message to Katie. 1 message turned into 2. 2 messages turned into 2-3 weeks of silence. I would see ‘read’ on my messages from her and started to get concerned. Katie was still posting content to her social media on an everyday basis, and still liking other friend’s posts. So, why was I receiving the silent treatment? It’s safe to say, I got paranoid. At this point and time, I had my only in-person friendships fall apart and had the rest of my virtual friendships fall apart as well. I thought I was safe with Katie, so I never thought to question it. She had always been there, right? Until staring at the ‘read’ message in our chat. It was like a taunt; a reminder that the final person in my life was falling out of it. A reminder that I had failed at this relationship. One night, as my suicidal isolation hit its peak, I climbed to the rooftop of my apartment’s parking garage, looked over, and contemplated jumping. While doing so, I received a concerned message and eventually, a phone call from one of Katie’s best friends. She talked me out of my panic and talked me into seeking help. And, that’s what I did. I went into therapy and started working on my issues. Except, I still couldn’t manage being ghosted by Katie. So, what did I do? I ended up confronting Katie. In my confrontation, I asked her why she disappeared. I asked her point-blank what the problem was, and where all of this was coming from. I expected to be left on read, and to my surprise, she replied. She explained that her pet had died, and in the middle of it, she got COVID-19 and was sick for one of those weeks. She had fallen into a mental health episode herself. When asking her why she didn’t say anything, and why she kept posting to social media on a regular basis, she said, “It was healthy for my mental health to keep as much normalcy as possible.” I couldn’t understand. I wanted to understand, but I couldn’t. As much as I wanted to argue and stand up for myself for feeling hurt, I decided to ignore it. In lieu of ignoring it and trying to move on, I got even more paranoid. After the coming weeks, I started questioning why Katie’s best friend was the one to help me and not Katie. I knew Katie was going through her own issues, but, she hasn’t been avoidant before, so why was it an issue now? However, one day, I sent her another message, and yet again, was left on read. After seeing that she had still been posting on a regular basis, and continuing to see her like and comment on other people’s content, I reached my breaking point with this relationship. I went to her profile, went to settings, and blocked her. I did this for several reasons. First, it hurt to see her active on social media while leaving me on read. I couldn’t connect her temporary break from our friendship, with her being active on social media. I couldn’t make it, make sense to me. I couldn’t handle seeing her active on social media, and needed to find a way to avoid seeing her comments and likes on other people’s posts. Second, if she was allowed to make herself distant in the name of mental health recovery, then why couldn’t I? I had the urge to want to fight and argue with her, and at the end of the day, I needed a way to protect myself from launching another argument with her. Except, in blocking her, I hurt her. In hurting her, our 8-year friendship was over…. I spent several months in therapy working on my abandonment issues and working on my suicidal ideation. In fact, while in therapy, I spent several sessions talking about Katie, and how her avoidant attachment style ended up hurting me. I eventually got to a spot where I unblocked Katie, messaged her, and had a conversation with her. During this conversation, we talked about our feelings, tried to be sensitive while doing so, and eventually found a middle ground. Over the course of another month or so, we ended up getting into another argument. She confronted me, about how I can’t make people interact with me in the way that I want. I can’t control other’s actions. She stated that trying to force friendships and not giving friends the space they need, can further push them away. I argued that clear communication can avoid issues of feeling ignored, and can create a better understanding between two people. That, closing up on people and shutting them out can create a much larger issue. She then replied, “Isn’t that what you did to me when you blocked me?” I stared at my phone and sank into that message. I realized two things with this interaction: First, we now had resentment against each other. Second, we both felt hurt and we were going in circles. The more we argued, the more awe would be reminded of that resentment. With being reminded of this resentment, my heart re-broke and re-shattered. This issue was now out of my control, and in that moment, I felt like I had lost something I’d never get back. The bad blood was already there. I started at my phone all night, and after contemplating what to do next, I decided to send the final blow — the final blow that would allow me to fully mourn and move on from this cosmic connection: I went to her profile, went to settings, and blocked her for the final time… While in reflection, and while in therapy, I learned several things: First, I learned that all friendships come in many different shapes and sizes. There are some friends you go out with on a weekly basis, there are some friends you meet on a semi-monthly basis, and also, there are some friendships where you can go without talking for months and pick everything back up when you see them again — regardless of how much time has passed. However, what do you do when your entire relationship is based on being 100% virtual? Well, I learned that some things are the same, and some things are very different. When connecting with people, you don’t truly get a full sense of who they are like you would in person. You don’t see all of their mannerisms, or their micro-gestures, and do not feel the energy from someone when they’re exclusively online. There will always be a certain level of context missing. However, being able to connect, make time for one another, and communicate with one another is all the same. Wanna have a two-hour tea date? It doesn’t entirely matter if it is in person or virtual — it’s the same two hours regardless. Second, I learned that not every friendship needs a goodbye. Not every cosmic relationship needs to collide with a rogue comet. I sometimes think about how Katie needed grace, and giving her grace would have been giving her time off from responding to her inbox. Giving Katie grace would have been acknowledging that her mental health was specific to her, and although I might not have understood it, I could have accepted it. However, I was in a period of my life where being socially isolated was ruining my mental health, and my needs collided her emotional needs. When the needs of two people collide, then it’s no one’s fault. I mean, after all, people are destined to change after 8 years, right? However, I’m not built that way. I wish I could be the person who would be okay with being ghosted by a friend, I wish I was the person who could accept avoidant-attachment styles, and keep the door open for the said person whenever they’re ready to come back. I wish I wouldn’t have to feel lonely when I feel hurt by a friend, and above all else, I wish I was the kind of person who still got to have a friendship with Katie. But, I’m not. Regardless of what I wish, I know that within myself, I’ll never be okay to being ghosted by people who are close to me. I’ll never be okay with being cut out of a friend's life, and to add, I’ll never be okay with feeling abandoned when my friends make clear they do not need me. Maybe these are things I need to continue working on. Maybe I have too many scars caused by people dropping out of my life overnight, that I can manage it but won’t be able to 100% fix it. Maybe I was self-destructive. But, maybe that self-distruction was rooted in wanting to avoid getting hurt again. But, I got hurt regardless. So what is it all for…. Dear reader, thank you for reaching the end of this week’s Spilling The Tea. Although we all have failed friendships in our past, it doesn’t mean we don’t deserve another chance to have that cosmic spark. Maybe that cosmic connection I once had with Katie is gone forever. However, what you and I have is quite special, isn’t it? What if the conection you and I have, is a cosmic connection in itself? The universe brought us together for this moment -- for you and me to connect through this post. Until I see you next week, try to remember that if you lose an astronomical love and connection, it doesn’t mean we can’t ever find that kind of otherworldly love again… With all the love and respect in this universe, ~Cody Aka The Oolong Drink “Blissfully Tea Drunk"

Spilling The Tea: Cutting Toxic People Out of Our Lives (Post 1) ~ Hello hello! Welcome to a new series called ‘Spilling The Tea’. In this series, I’ll be giving ‘the tea’ about various life circumstances,and fleshing out the best possible route to resolving various dilemmas that we all might face at some point or anothe. Think of this as agossip/advice fusion that Carrie Bradshaw would do in Sex in the City — except, more gay, more ,melodramatic, and more personable (and not all about dating). For me, I sometimes experience a lot of zany and outlandish situations where I don’t necessarily receive any sort of closure or validation. With this series, I'll give myself the closure I need by writing these stories. As I find my own closure, maybe it can help you, the reader, find some sort of closure with a similar shared life experience as well. To launch the very first ‘Spilling The Tea’ series, We’ll be going over something that has become more prevalent in today’s society: Cutting toxic people out of our lives. I did this recently. A few weeks ago, I said goodbye to a near two-year friendship. This friendship started two years ago when someone local to my area reached out to me on Instagram. They followed me, and I followed them back. Shortly thereafter, we started talking and became social media friends. Her name was Lilly (well, for the sake of this story, that’ll be her name), and Lilly was very supportive of my blog and my tea journey. However, last year, we started entertaining the idea of going out tougher. We’d make plans to meet for tea, make plans to meet up to go out to the club, etc. Every time, she’d cancel. Some of the times, she’d cancel the day of. Two of the times, I had pulled up to the tea shop when she canceled. One of the times, I went to the tea shop, waited for an hour, and didn’t hear back from her until that night/the next day. I was becoming weary of this friendship. Though, after some time had passed, Lilly and I talked again and made plans to go to a nightclub together. A week later, that same day, she canceled. When I asked her when she’d be free next, she said, “Oh, I’m leaving for Nevada for the summer, I won't be back until September/October (4-5 months later). I went to her profile, went to block her, and hovered my finger over the block button. Before blocking her, I remember thinking about how I didn’t have any friends in Colorado yet. I also remember how I wasn’t in a position to cut off one of the only connections I had here — despite it being a shit one. So, I went to her profile and muted her profile instead (so, I wouldn’t be able to see her posts on my feed) and moved on. Months would pass, and she’d react to my stories or comment on my posts, and I wouldn’t respond. I wouldn’t reply. I had just moved on. Eight months had passed (now the spring of this year) and I got a new message from Lilly. She said that she and her boyfriend had rented an Airbnb near the tea shop I frequented (the same tea shop I had been stood up by her previously), and insisted that we finally meet for the very first time. After letting go of some of the flakiness of the past, I decided to give it a shot. I had nothing to lose anyway, right? So, on the day of, I arrived and got a table for us. Half an hour later, and right when I was packing up to leave, I looked up and Lilly was walking in. She finally arrived. Hot damn. She was a real person, and not just a winter flake that fell from the sky after all. Long story short, we had a great time. We hung out for several hours, and after, made plans to hang out again. To my surprise, we actually hung out again. We got breakfast, went shopping, and created a new memory. Another time after, Lilly brought one of her best friends along, and we all three hung out. And the time after that, she brought another few friends. Before I knew it, I had a small group of friends I could call on, hang out with, and socialize with. A few months later, Lilly announced that her job was relocating her for the summer, and she’d be leaving again. She worked for a branch of the government. Essentially, she would take contracts, but, would have to temporarily move across the state/country to fulfill these contracts. This actually explained why she would disappear for months at a time, but despite so, she had made promises to us in the group that she’d come back and visit. She made promises that we’d all get to see her. Since she had been consistent in our friendship up to that point, I had no reason to doubt her. Except, some of her friends and I had made plans to drive over to her new temporary home, and visit her for a very specific weekend. We planned on going on the first weekend of June because the first weekend of June is the anniversary of my dad’s passing. This time of year is always hard on me, and for over the past decade, I have always spent this day alone. Or, I’d have no one to call, talk to, or spend time with, on this day. My dad died tragically, and every year on this day, it comes back up again and I'm reminded how much I miss him. Every year on this particular day, I struggle. However, I was now going to take a mini road trip with Lilly's friend instead of spending it alone. I'd be surrounded by good company, and I wouldn't be left to wallow in it. For the first time in over a decade, I wouldn’t be spending this day alone. I took two days off work for this trip, and a plan was set in motion. Except, it didn’t happen. The week of, on Wednesday, Lilly announced that she’d be driving down to the city instead. So, her friends and I made plans to hang out on Saturday and do something as a group instead. We'd have a game night. With a new plan in motion, I asked her on Thursday if she and I could go to the lake together on the night of my dad’s passing (Sunday night). She said she’d love to and would message me later to verify the time and place. I texted her Friday to verify plans, and she said she was busy at work and would message me later. Saturday arrived, and I still didn't hear from her. Saturday night arrived, and I went to our friend’s house for game night. I asked if they heard from Lilly, and they said she canceled on them and would be coming Sunday instead. Sunday arrived, and I still hadn’t heard from her. On Sunday evening, I opened Instagram and saw she had posted to her story. On her story, Lilly was paddle boarding with a friend up near where she lived. My anxiety and anger instantly spiked. I sent her a text and told her that she had hurt me in our friendship. I told her that I felt really hurt that she’d texted our other friends about her plans while standing me up. On top of that, I told her that it hurt because she had told me she’d be there for me, on a very important day. I had taken PTO to spend time with her, and she backtracked our plans, stood me up, and left me hanging. She replied and said, “I understand why you’re hurt, but I never verified a time with you. It’s not like the plan was solidified”. I texted her a screenshot of her text that showed that she agreed to spend time with me. She replied and said, “Look, I texted the other friends in our group because when I visit, they’re who I’m staying with. I had to let them know if I was coming. I spend all winter building friendships with people because when I go away for work over the summer, it’s hard on me. I messaged them because I need them, and they’re helping me by letting me stay with them. With my job, my schedule changes and I can’t help it. This is the way that it is.” In one last ditch effort, I replied and said, “I’m just asking that in the future, you communicate that with me. I know you can’t help your work schedule, but I’m just asking that you communicate if you have to cancel on me so that way, I’m not being stood up. For our friendship, moving forward, this is all I’m asking. Just basic communication.” After a few minutes, she read my text and didn’t reply. Fifteen minutes later, I started to question why I had responded in a way that I did and gave her an out. Why did I accept that I’d allow a friend in my life to admit to me that they didn’t see the problem with standing me up? Why was I so forgiving, that I was okay with letting her ghost me and stand me up? Why did I let it be okay, and have to bed for something as simple as a text message? Did I lower the bar so low for myself, that I had allowed myself to become desperate for the friendship and approval of someone who took no issue with hurting me in such a big way? I sent a final text, telling her that I was moving on from our friendship. I then did what I should have done a year prior — I blocked her on all social media and blocked her number. I removed myself from her life, and I moved on. Later the next day, I was talking with a mutual friend of hers, and he mentioned that my friendship with him or any of her friends would not be affected. But, he said, “It sucks that you burned that bridge with her. I guess you can’t go back.” This is the moment, I started to re-analyze the idea of cutting people off from my life. Was I wrong to cut off my friendship? Was I wrong to say goodbye, and was I wrong to burn that bridge? First, I want to say:  I did not burn that bridge. I tried to fight for this friendship, and when I was met with resistance, I walked away. That doesn’t mean I burned the bridge. The bridge burned when she stood me up and ghosted me. The bridge burned when I rearranged my work schedule and used PTO to dedicate time to this person, and they couldn’t even send a text message back. She burned the bridge when she explained to me that she felt justified in ghosting me and standing me up… Second, it is not our responsibility to make amends with the people who hurt us. We sometimes feel the need to reach out to someone who hurt us, and give them grace, because sometimes it’s easier to give someone grace than accept that they could actually hurt us. This will now make me ask: What’s broken within us, that we feel the need to give grace to the people who hurt us? To that, I have two answers: First, we sometimes accept negative and toxic behavior with friends because it is sometimes better to overlook someone else’s flaws, than it is to criticize them for it. We are all not perfect, so why would we judge someone else for not being perfect? But, does that make us desperate? For me at least, I've struggled to make new friends in Colorado since moving here. So although I’m not despite, I sometimes overlook things I know I shouldn’t, because I have nothing else. (Okay, maybe I am a tad bit desperate). Second: We sometimes give grace to the people who hurt us, because sometimes, you don’t want to see someone you love self-destruct and hurt the connection you have with them. You don’t want to see the other person in your relationship throw away your connection so easily. However, I’ve concluded several things from this. We can’t be so forgiving to someone else that we end up forgetting to forgive ourselves. You can give grace to people, but not so much that you end up hurting yourself instead. Some connections are worth saving. With some connections, it’s more than worth it to be forgiving because these people enrich our lives and add value to our souls. If you want to know if someone deserves forgiveness, ask yourself this: Did forgiving them take effort? If you’re showing someone forgiveness, and they truly deserve forgiveness, then forgiving them won’t feel like it took any effort at all. It won’t even feel like the act of forgiveness. However, if someone hurts you, then it’s up to YOU to love yourself.  You have to leave that connection and take care of yourself. You simply can’t make a friend appreciate your connection with them, and above all else, you can't make a friend keep loving you. If a friend stops loving you, then it’ll be up to you to give yourself the love that you should be receiving, instead. I’m not perfect, and neither are you. People are complicated, but hey, so are we! I will ask of you, dear reader, to do something that I’m still practicing to do: Love yourself, be kind to yourself, and advocate for yourself for the love thatyou truly deserve. I f you ask me, “How do you be kind to yourself? How do you love yourself?” Then I’d tell you, I have no fucking clue. But, I’m still trying. Although we don’t know how to perfectly answer that, the best we can do is keep trying. Until the next segment of Spilling The Tea, I’ll work on coming up with an answer to that, but you can work on it too. We can compare notes with each other once we figure it out :) Until next time, ~Cody Aka The Oolong Drunk “Blissfully Tea Drunk"

If Gay Means Happy, a Pride Essay by Cody Wade Many of us had a realization in grade school that the term ‘gay’ didn’t really mean stupid. Or, that it didn’t originally mean the ideology of being a descriptor for queer people. Rather, we learned that the old-school term for gay means ‘happy’. For many people, being gay means being sexually attracted to the same sex. But for me, gay didn't mean happy. If gay means happy, then this is what gay truly means to me.... To make a long story short, I grew up in the Selectivitism sect of Catholicism — the branch of Christianity that means that you’re only a Christian on Easter, Christmas, or any presidential election year. For myself, the topic of homosexuality was always a frightening one. I wasn’t attracted to girls, and despite trying to find a sexual connection with the opposite gender, I simply couldn’t. I even went through a phase where I bought Playboy magazines because I thought it would help my sexual awakening. I guess you could say the early signs of my homosexuality were always there because I’d look at the gatefold (of her gatefold) and say, “Wow, she’s fabulous, she reminds me of Britney. She should be respected and not sexualized.” I’d daydream about guys, and when I came-to from the daydreams I got lost in, I re-forced myself to try and pray to make myself normal again. This became a problem once I graduated high school because then, I had no other distractions. I had to actually face it. I eventually became sick, and after spending a month in bed, I realized what was truly making me sick — I was trying to hide how I was. An hour after realizing that I couldn’t change the way I was born, I went into the living room and came out to my mom. She cried, went to bed, and that was the last of it… …until 2 am, when she police-kicked open my door, turned on my bedroom light, and screamed at me to come into the hallway. I walked into the hallway to find her holding a shovel in batting position — angrily swinging it at me while shouting at me to ‘come at me’. I went back into my room, quickly packed a backpack, and shoved past her as I went to my car. She tumbled back, screamed that I assaulted her,  and called 911 as I drove off into Dallas. I called my Grandparents and stayed with them until things evened out. However, my grandparents weren’t the most helpful. I wanted to stay with them so I could focus on finding a new job and so I could try and start school again, but, they said no. I wasn’t allowed to. I spent a few days homeless, and while squatting at their house, I eventually got a new job and started my new job training. After a week of training, I found a roommate in Keller and started working in Southlake as a weight loss consultant. In the meantime, I had to give up my dream of going to college, but on the other hand, I was happy to finally land in a place that was quieter and safer than my mom’s house. If gay means happy… After a few months in Keller, I eventually met my first partner and we started dating. After going to a wedding with him, I put our photo together on my desk. Shortly thereafter, I was eventually pulled aside and talked to about a complaint. A co-worker of mine complained that my photo was inappropriate and that it was offensive to show off my lifestyle. When thinking back on it, when clients would ask who was in my photo, I’d happily say, “That’s my boyfriend”. However, my co-worker would overhear this in her cubical and would get offended. This particular blonde-bowling ball worked a 2nd job at the local mega-church (Gateway I believe?) and believed that it was her duty to spread the word of God by complaining about others who didn’t live the way she saw fit. A southern blonde Dolores Umbridge, as you will. So, as I was saying, my manager pulled me aside and told me that my photo was offensive to ‘others’, and that my photo would drive away business. She said I should know better, especially considering that I’d test this while living in such a strong pro-God community. She then made me sign a write-up, as, 'being offensive and crude to clientele’ was against company policy. Ultimately, I was told to replace it with a cat photo. While I worked off a commission-based bonus, and I didn’t want to risk my income, I contemplated changing the photo. Until, later that week, I was awarded for being the 2nd highest sales in the entire district of 14 stores. I walked past my coworkers and my boss’s desks, which all displayed photos of their SOs, and went outside to call HR. By calling HR, I learned two valuable life lessons. First, all HR representatives look and sound the same (are you also mentally picturing the same person that I am?). Second, HR is not there to help you, HR only exists to help the company. A week later, they sent my boss and coworker to sensitivity training, and was forced to apologize. A week after that, my boss demoted me. I went from 40 hours a week with bonus, to 10 hours a week with no bonus. Eventually, I was falling behind in rent, and eventually, was being kicked out for lack of rent payment. In one last-ditch effort, I applied to a full-time position within the same company, at a location that was near my partner's house in Grand Prairie. After applying, I was denied. The company said that I couldn’t transfer within the company because I had previously been written up, and being written up puts a block on any promotions and transfers within the company. I was forced to resign, packed up my car, and was homeless again. Thankfully, my partner’s landlord let me move in with them until I got back on my feet. But, the new life I built for myself was being taken away again. This new corner that I was rebuilding myself in, crumbled. If gay means happy… The day after moving in with my partner, I drove to downtown Dallas and hired an attorney pro bono who would sue my employer for workplace retaliation. I couldn’t sue for workplace discrimination, because in the state of Texas, LGBT discrimination wasn’t accepted under title-7 discrimination laws. But, my manager left a perfect paper trail of workplace retaliation, and according to my attorney, it was a textbook ‘slam-dunk 'case. We were going to go after them for my loss of wages, loss of credit for being kicked out, and enough money to make my negative bank account go back into the green. We weren’t gunning for millions, or gunning for a headline. We just wanted me to have a restart so I could try adulting again. While awaiting judgment, I got a new job, worked full time, and my boyfriend and I moved into a larger space in Fort Worth. While waiting in limbo, I got more into tea (fun factoid for my fellow tea drinkers: I actually worked at Teavana until it closed, during this period!), started working for a higher-paying job, and was trying to navigate my place in the universe. While navigating my place in the universe, I hit a lot of snags and was held back from many opportunities (such as going back to higher education) because of my debt. But, it was all okay because, despite my limitations, my attorney was working hard to help me become whole again. I was at bay. After a year and a half of sitting in this weird financial limbo, and after trying to get my ex-employer to settle, I eventually got a call from my attorney. I was pulling up to my driveway at home, so I put my car in park, answered the phone, and listened to him say the sentence that’s now engraved into my brain forever… “The judge reviewed our case for docket placement, and after reviewing the case, he rejected it. He said although it was a retaliation case, it was rooted in an LGBT+ cause. Since LGBT people are not a protected class under Title 7 in the state of Texas, he rejected the case. We can not move forward…” I that moment, my brain turned off. The lights turned out, the engine stopped, and my soul sank into my body. From whatever happened next, I can most certainly say, I was not in control of my body. I hung up the phone, walked into the house, went straight to the bathroom, and locked the door behind me. My then-boyfriend noticed something was wrong, followed me into the bathroom, and tried to open the bathroom door. After struggling to open it, he eventually kicked the door down. He body-slammed me to interrupt me from digging the razor blade into my skin. He stopped me from dying. and I didn’t want to live. If gay means happy… After going through extensive mental-health recovery, and after several months of not working, I was in a mentally better place to start working again. Our landlord owned a jewelry shop and he hired me to do random odd jobs around the shop. I’d sometimes ride to work with him, and eventually, my mental health was starting to even out. However, one day, my landlord sent me on a work errand to pick up shelving at Lowes. While sitting in the road and waiting to turn left into the shopping center, a school truck rear-ended me going 60mph (or 96 kilometers per hour), which threw me into the other side of traffic where I was hit head-on by 3 more cars. I crawled my way out of the car and crawled over to the sidewalk. I collapsed and turned over on my back. While lying there, I could hear the screams of a little girl being dragged out of one of the other cars… I also heard sirens, heard more screaming, and the worst part of all — I realized I couldn’t move. I couldn’t lift my neck or shoulder to see the accident, and I couldn’t do anything but lie there helplessly. I also couldn’t move when the paramedics loaded me on the stretcher, and I couldn’t move to grasp what had all happened. When they lifted the stretcher into the ambulance, the stretcher was raised at a slight angle. That’s when I caught a glimpse of the scene — a 5-car pileup with my car in the middle. We arrived in the ER, and shortly thereafter, my partner showed up with my landlords. They couldn’t help me, and worse of all, I couldn’t help myself. After a scan/x-ray, the hospital determined that I fractured my neck, and also determined that I suffered a traumatic head injury. They put me in a neck brace, and eventually sent me back home. This period of my life is also hazy, and I don’t necessarily remember what happened next. But, when it came time to deal with the logistics of the car accident, I learned that I’d have to work with the State Attorney General to resolve this accident since it was a school truck that hit me. They did write me a check to replace my car, but when it came to my medical bills, they told me I’d need to prove them with the help of an attorney. However, I was still injured. And since I needed all sorts of therapy, I’d have to wait until I fully recovered before my attorney could go after the State of Texas. This meant, my life would have to be put on hold again. I was back in limbo again. Throughout the next year, I went through physical therapy, went through extensive psychotherapy for PTSD, and also, went through a failing relationship. My then-boyfriend was developing panic disorder due to the stress of everything and after lengthy arguments about how my mental health was ruining his. I completed my therapy, my neck healed, and my relationship of four years was inevitably failing. My partner found another guy, started seeing him behind my back, and eventually moved out. Since he moved out, I was given a month to move out myself as well. So I packed my bags again, moved to a motel, and squatted with nowhere else to go. My half-sister reached out to me, convinced me to look for a job in Missouri, and convened me to leave Texas for good. So, that’s exactly what I did. I found a job, found a roommate situation, and moved across several state lines to start my new life over again… After a week of landing in Missouri, and after starting my new job, I got a call from my attorney with the good news that this case was going to be resolved. After going back and forth with the state of Texas, the Attorney General’s office settled for an undisclosed amount to cover the hospital bills, physical therapy, and the remaining money I lost for being out of work. I was glad that after going through so much, something I went through would have a final resolution. This meant that I spent my first week in Missouri, not only celebrating my move but also celebrating the grand settlement I’d be receiving from the car accident. After a few weeks of my final payment pending, I eventually for the wire transfer of the grand amount that was being deposited into my account. I logged into my bank account to see that after everything I went through with this accident, and after my outstanding debts were paid from it, I saw the final grand total of $18.00 wired into my account. If gay means happy… After taking five/six months to settle in Missouri, I eventually came out of my shell more. I be-friended my roommates, we went out, and I began making more friends. For the first time in my adult life, I was truly enjoying being in my early 20s. I was living the moment for the first time in my life and began enjoying being alive again. However, although I was living in the moment, I was also ignoring the rest of my PTSD. I couldn’t afford therapy, but I was doing everything else I could to recover from my problems. However, I did go on a few dates. The more dates I went on, the more I met guys who couldn’t be seen with me in public. The more guys that I dated, the more I saw that many of them were in the closet. After a while, I also noticed that the more gay men I met, the more I learned that the gay community in Springfield was angry. For the vast majority of the gay men I met had been sent to conversion therapy by their parents in their youth, or, many of them ended up trapped with a wife and kids, and lived their entire lives in the closet. However, I also learned that the more gay people I met, the more I realized that I couldn’t befriend them. I didn’t live in my hometown, so I didn’t care who knew I was gay. However, many of them, they saw me as this out-of-towner who waltzed in being openly gay with no repercussion whatsoever, and it came off as entitled to them. While navigating dating and friendships, COVID-19 happened and the entire world (except for Missouri, Arkansas, and Mississippi) went into lockdowns. Unfortunately, I caught covid. It wasn’t during the first wave, but rather, during the second wave that hit around Halloween. You could say I was one of the lucky ones, because was one of the fortunate ones who ended up in the hospital. I don’t remember a ton of that weekend, but I do remember being scared. There was no one around me. No family, no partner, and no parent that I could call to my bedside. I remember the nurse coming to my bedside and asking why I didn’t put down anyone for my emergency contact. And I remember not being able to answer her… Three weeks later, I started writing about my experience in leaving Texas in a diary that I used to document my transition into Missouri. After several months of writing, I re-read what I wrote and realized something: This is already a compelling story, but how does it end? So, I turned my diary into a novel and started writing about everything I went through. While writing about Texas, I was re-living my most personal horrors in an attempt to finally put it down and move forward from it. I also began working out, dieting, and began losing weight. After almost two years of making friends and trying to better myself, one of my best friends got proposed to, and she said yes. She and I had grown close, and while navigating friends and dating, she and I had one of the strongest bonds that I had made in my adulthood. We related to each other so much, including losing our fathers at such a young age. This friend and I eventually called each other brother and sister. We even labeled it on social media. So when she met her soon-to-be husband, she was finally living her fairy tale dreams of meeting a man and having a life partner. We daydreamed about her wedding day, and we daydreamed about how much better our lives would be for each other after living such tumultuous lives. Until the wedding invites were sent out. Everyone got one. When I began looking in my mailbox, I realized mine was missing. Week after week went by, and still, it never arrived. After coming up with dozens of excuses for her not sending one, I eventually gathered up the nerve to give her a call and ask what was happening. “Hey, I haven’t received my invite yet. Should I still plan on it?” I asked. After a long pause on the phone, she quietly replied, “Well…. I started going to his church, and we wanted to start our marriage off right with God.” After processing what she was saying, I then asked, “So what does that have to do with me?” Although I asked that question, I already knew the answer. She replied, “Well, we wanted a Christian wedding, and I had to make a few sacrifices to start my marriage off happy. It’s because you’re, well… You know. I have to do what it takes to start my marriage off right.” I sat on the phone and opened my mouth. I wanted to reply, but no words came out. I hung up the phone, and I never talked to her again. If gay means happy… On the day of the wedding, my entire friend group was getting ready to go. However, after talking about how upset they were with the decision to not invite me, we came up with a game plan: Everyone goes to the wedding and the reception (which started at 1:00 pm), and afterward, everyone will meet up at the club to celebrate a Saturday night with me. Although I wasn’t invited, I didn’t have to be left out. I reserved a table at the club for a party of 6-8, and my faith in my friends was restored again. I arrived at the club at 8:00 pm, and after 11:00 pm, I eventually got a text from one of the friends in the group. They said that the reception ran later than expected and they weren’t coming after all. I had sat there for 3 hours, to have this wedding rubbed in my face. My friends stopped feeling like my friends, and I was alone again. I looked up from my phone, grabbed my jacket, and left the club. If gay means happy… On my way home, I pulled over and stopped at one of the only two gay bars in town, and sat by myself at the bar. While trying to distract myself from being stood up, I sparked a convo with the bartender. After a few moments, I looked at the other end of the bar to see a larger group of older gay men (think 50’s-60’s). I watched them as they all looked everyone up and down, gossip about everyone in the bar, and watched them be unhappy as their only connection to each other was being fucked-over my living in Missouri. They all had failed marriages that fell apart when they came out to their wives, they were all still in the closet to some capacity or another, and they were all bitter by how living in their Missouri hometown essentially ruined whatever chance at happiness they’d ever have in life… I remember thinking back to all of the younger gay guys I had met previous to this. I remembered how nearly all of them were either sent to conversion therapy camps or how they were all trapped in marriages they couldn’t escape, and I realized that all of the gay men I met, would turn into this when they were older. This was their future. Then I looked at myself. What about my future? I was sitting at a bar while angry at my friends for ditching me. I was angry at being gay. I was angry at all of the opportunities I couldn’t have due to being gay. Also, I was angry for living in an area that supported homophobia and big religion so much that all of the gay men there had their lives ruined by all of the hate they had to hide from. I was sitting at the bar and looked over at those older gays, and realized that all of my hurt and anger would pre-destine me to be them when I was their age. They didn’t choose this. All of the younger gay men I met didn’t choose this. And above all else, I didn’t choose this. While sitting at the bar, my anger turned into fear. I started to cry, grabbed my jacket, and drove back home. If gay means happy… A few months went by and I began heavily job-searching for any job I could find, in any famously-gay city that I could think of. I didn’t want to live in the South anymore. I didn’t want to live in the Midwest anymore. I also didn’t want to live in any big religious area that would predetermine me to live a life of pain, sorrow, and hurt. I was applying for jobs in San Francisco, Chicago, and Denver. I applied night and day — so much so that I began to lose sleep and became manic. I kept losing weight, and with this, I was losing my sanity. In these 3 months of job-hunting, I had lost two more of my female friends by the same tragic fate I had met earlier with my friend who got married; my gay-accepting female friends met a homophobic man that they wanted to marry. My social life was crumbling, my love life was non-existent, and I was losing all hope while becoming angrier and angrier. In this period, I lived the angriest day that I had ever lived. While job hunting, I did manage to finish my first novel about leaving Texas. Remember how I tried to commit suicide, as mentioned above? Well, when writing that part of the book, I decided to save that part for last. But after a year of writing this book, this was the last part of the story I had left to write. While lost in thought, and determined to finish this book, and accidentally pulled an all-nighter to finish the story. After writing the last page of this novel, I took a deep breath, dotted the last period of the story, and cried. I cried for two reasons: First, I cried because I felt relief. I gave myself the vindication I never got from all that I went through, and I was able to finally let go of the horror I endured. Second, I cried because I wrote my first fucking novel. It took a year to do it, and a year to re-live my trauma, but god damn, I did it. Before going to bed, I got in my car and drove to a local cafe to eat breakfast to celebrate finishing my book. After pulling up to the restaurant, I got a few texts back-to-back — all asking if I saw the news. While confused, I pulled up Reddit and saw what everyone else was seeing. The headline read — — hold on reader, before I tell you what the article said, I need to point out that life is full of coincidences. Sometimes, those coincidences are great. Other times, these coincidences can be cruel. Which coincidence do you think this was? Anyways, the headline read, “The US Supreme Court Passed Legislation Making it Illegal to Discriminate Against Gays in the Workplace, Nationwide” I lowered my phone down in my lap. I put my hands on the steering wheel, closed my eyes, and took a deep breath. While trying to let out an exhale, I let out the loudest and most deeply-rooted scream I have ever let out instead… I abandoned any idea of food, started my car, and drove back home. Like I keep saying, if gay means happy… A week after that, I got a call from a bank I applied to in Northern Colorado. Then the next day, I did a virtual interview. Then the day after that, I got the job offer. Three weeks after accepting the job offer later, I packed my U-haul, said goodbye to the remaining friends I had, and moved halfway across the country. I was driving with my two cats in a U-haul going towards a place I didn’t know. To new roommates I didn’t know, and leaving my life behind — for the third time in my life. The biggest difference between this time and last time was, I was running from something in Texas. Now, I’d be running towards something. A brighter future. After getting settled in Colorado, and going through a bad roommate situation, I eventually applied for County Housing Assistance, and thankfully, got a new apartment. My cats and I moved into our new places and we were finally at peace. After being kicked out after high school, and after bouncing around different parts of Texas and Missouri, I finally had a place to call mine. After 6-7 years of having no home, I finally had a place to call home. Quickly after moving, I kept working on myself. I picked up running and lifting, and eventually lost my 100th pound (yes, really! I went from 240lbs to 140lbs), and started exploring Colorado on my own. I tried to pick up dating again, and eventually got into a new relationship. I began writing my 2nd novel which was based on my friend group in Missouri, and started becoming the most confident I had ever been in being an openly gay man. Except, something was wrong. The more that I came out of my shell, the more that I noticed two problems: I was In a state full of transplants, and yet, didn’t belong. The more I dated and got involved with the gay community in Colorado, the more I realized that being in a place that was more open and liberal came with a trade-off. That trade-off was a classist trade-off. The more gay men I met who were openly gay, the more I realized that they came from wealthy backgrounds. Many of the openly gay men I met (even my first ex in Colorado), came from such a strong background of wealth, that they had a freedom that I had never experienced before. They could afford to go be free somewhere, and they could afford to go explore their sexuality however they wanted without fear of their entire life falling apart. They could still return home, and they could never be limited by their sexuality.  They all had college paid for, walked into a 6-figure job, and didn’t experience having to struggle to survive and succeed in life. Now, I’m not trying to take away anyone else’s experience, because I did meet affluent gays who choose to go back into the closet to be able to live on their family's wealth. However, it is a choice they were allowed to have. They had what I didn’t: I didn’t have financial support to start my life, I didn’t have a clique of city-gays to befriend, and the biggest one of all — I didn’t feel the comrade that others have felt by being able to afford to live in such an open and accepting place. Whenever I did meet and date the other gay half of the community (aka the ‘less than 6-figure a year’ gays), I realized that monogamy was a myth. The more that I explored dating, the more I learned that I could date many amazing gay men, but I would have to be in an open relationship. I’d be a 3rd — a ‘trouple’ (as you will). With this trade-off, many of these gays also had religious-based trauma, and many of them were afraid to fully commit to one thing because whenever they did, they got rejected for their sexuality. So thus, open relationship. This was one thing I didn’t get to learn while in Texas or Missouri, that being openly gay in a liberal place like Colorado, was a financial privilege. After spending over two years trying to find my place in Colorado, I finished my 2nd novel. I dug deep into myself unpacking all of the hurt I went through (again), and continued to better myself. However, if gay means happy… So, what did all of this mean for me? We'll get there, I promise. In September of 2022, I was invited to serve tea at my best friend’s wedding in Carmel-By-Tthe-Sea. He met the love of his life, they dated until she graduated from college, and finally, their fairy-tale ending was finally happening for them. I went, served tea, and saw my best friend the happiest I’ve ever seen him. It was the closest I've ever been to the feeling of true magic. On my flight back from San Francisco, something within me broke. A black hole grew within me like a virus and it consumed me, and eventually, began to ruin me. While trying ot fight the ever-consuing black hole growing within me, I was on the phone with a friend while having a conversation about loneliness, and expressed how I was struggling with having a stronger start in a place where I didn’t feel like I belonged. She said, “You should stop trying so hard to date and stop trying so hard find friends, and you should really focus on being more comfortable with being by yourself. You need to work on yourself.” Granted, she was only looking at my issue through the lens of a straight white woman who married a man with money, and she really was trying to help. However, with that one sentence, she reduced my entire experience of surveying as a gay man and turned it into being someone who is desperate. However, I wasn’t desperate. I continued to do things by myself. I went on hikes, I went to dinner, I went to several concerts, and traveled to see virtual friends all across the country, lost 100lbs, went to thearpy, wrote two books, and above all else, I did all of this by myself. My loneliness and isolation didn’t stop me, and no matter how heavy it got, I did not stop and I kept going. Her phone call was the final catalyst into sending me deeper into a hole that I now couldn't crawl out of. I continued to down spiral from the loneliness. I noticed people around me living the life that I always wanted. I wanted to have graduated from college, I wanted to have a decent-paying job, and I wanted to marry someone and start a family. I wanted that connection, and I wanted that community. No matter how many times I went out and had life experiences, I still came home to an empty apartment. Eventually, I stood on the roof of my apartment’s parking garage and peered over — ready to jump. I wasn’t sad, I wasn’t angry, and I wasn’t hurt, I was just simply done. After contemplating jumping, a virtual friend sent me a message, talked me off of the edge, and helped me seek therapy. After going to therapy for six months, I finally found a middle ground in coping with my loneliness. But, I was in debt again. So now comes the answer to the question I’ve been asking all along: If gay means happy… …then why is it not? First and foremost, fuck Texas. Second, fuck big religon and fuck anyone who uses God's name to justify their homophobia. Third, fuck affluent white city gays. I could almost overlook their gross-entitlement towards other gays if it wasn't for their blatant racism (no, really, they really are racist. Ask any one of them if they'd date anyone who is not white and watch them sweat like how I'd sweat in a cofession booth. They'll advocate Black Lives Matters and will 'YAS queen' to Sza while vominting in the back of the mouth at the idea of kissing a gay person of color). Lastly, I didn’t choose any of this. I didn’t choose to be homeless three times, displaced from my home three times, didn’t choose to be fired from work for being gay, and I didn’t choose for any of my friendships and dates to make my sexuality conditional to being involved in their life. To a point, I did have a choice in all of this: I chose to move away from Texas. I was also very lucky and fortunate to have an introspective ‘ah-ha’ moment about my anger in Missouri, and I was even luckier to have the opportunity to move to Colorado. But, all of this came at a cost. Me being out of the closet, cost me my home, It cost me 2 suicide attempts, It cost me education, It cost me many friendships, It cost me many career opportunities, It cost me the prospect of finding a life partner, It cost me the prospect of being able to start my own family, It cost me my youth, And it cost me the ability to have true peace in life…. I spent many years waiting for some grand retribution and waiting to receive my flowers for going through what I went through. It wasn’t coming, so I decided to give it to myself. I did invest in my tea blog, and I had incredible opportunities from some amazing and incredible people I’ve met through it. I did give myself the freedom to blossom it. I also double-downed on my health, and like I said above, I lost 100lbs. I wrote two books (and might publish them one day). Above all else, anytime I feel the weight of all of the loneliness that I’ve collected along the way, I have to remind myself that this the price of my freedom. All of these realities, fears, and feelings are the flowers I had to give myself, just so I could simply be myself. Growing up, I remember watching the NBC show Will & Grace, when Grace was teasing Will over a break-up he once had in college. He wrote in his diary, “If gay means happy, then why am I so sad?" In the show, it was a joke and it got lots of laughs. However, it always stuck with me as being something that wasn’t a joke. It felt true. I’m almost 30, and I now sit back and watch all of my friends move on from college starting to find life partners, marry their life partners, start families, and go through the normal stages of life. Meanwhile, I’m still recovering from the shockwave of my sexuality blowing my life up. Despite all of my therapy, I’m still left with two reoccurring nightmares that sometimes wake me up in the middle of the night: The night I came out to my mom (the night she had the shovel and whatnot), she screamed at me that if my father would have been alive, he would have hated what I become... As for the other nightmare, I also have the reoccurring nightmare of somehow being made homeless for a 4th time. When these nightmares wake me up, I’ll lie awake in the middle of the night and begin to think about what it truly means to be gay. I’ll often think about how I'd finish the question, “If gay means happy…?” For Pride month this year, I can finally say that if gay means happy… ...then maybe one day I will be, too. Best wishes, ~Cody Wade Aka The Oolong Drunk “Blissfully Tea Drunk With..." For pride month, if you want to make a donation to help support me and my blog, you can send me a donation here:

Hello hello! In this week’s episode of creating better click-bait titles for SEO optimization, I’m going to talk about a topic that many tea professionals love to over-complicate. They make it seem like it’s some advanced level that you need to work hard to obtain, and if you don’t, then you’re now a blooming idiot who doesn’t drink advanced enough tea. Also, you’re somehow greeted with a huge 'burn in hell' for enjoying a bagged tea. So with this, I’ll go over the biggest mistake people make when brewing tea, how to fix this mistake (easily), and above all else — how to fix this mistake while enjoying whatever tea you like. I’ll also go over how to make the perfect cup of tea (it’s quite simple really, I promise). First, let’s get a stigma out of the way — there’s not one singular correct method for brewing tea. Many tea snobs would have you believe that there’s only one right way to make tea. Which, is incorrect. If you drink bagged tea, gong-fu tea, a mug with an infuser, cold-brewed overnight in the fridge, or a teapot with lose-leaf tea out in the open — then you’re just as valid for enjoying your tea the way you like. Second, I’ll advise you that many tea companies have instructions on how to brew their tea that are specific to their brand. For example, if you look at a box of green tea from the grocery store, it may tell you to brew your green tea with hot water at 170ºf for 3 minutes. Meanwhile, some veteran tea bloggers will tell you that you have to use boiling water for your tea and must brew it for 5+ minutes. So, who is right and who is wrong? Well, my professional answer is: They’re both correct. My petty answer is: The veteran bloggers are wrong because if your tea comes out bitter, they’ll tell you that the tea was produced wrong. This is a problem because many veteran tea bloggers somehow don’t know that you can singe an agricultural product with hot water and not everything was meant to be hard-boiled. If you follow Alice down the rabbit hole of a Google search on ‘how to make tea’, you’ll actually find that everyone has a different answer. Some places say you can hard-boil your white tea, and some places say you can’t. Some places say to use 180ºf for oolong, and some will say to use 200ºf. Some bagged teas will say to brew your tea bag for 2 minutes, and others will say to brew it for 5 minutes. Meanwhile, some keyboard warrior on the /r/tea subreddit will tell you that everything you’re doing is wrong and will downvote you regardless of how you make your tea. So what is the biggest mistake people make when making tea? The biggest mistake they make is stressing out over brewing instructions. It’s not their fault really, because the tea industry forgets to promote this one very important piece of advice that everyone should follow to enjoy their cup of tea: Experiment and have fun! Yes! It’s really that simple. Tea is not singular. No two teas are 100% identical. To add, no two tea drinkers are the same. According to a study published to the US National Institute of Health, the way your body perceives taste varies based on your age, gender, and race/nationality. Scientifically, we all experience taste differently. With this, when one person says to make tea in a very specific way, it's because that is what’s right for them. This begs the question: How do you make a perfect cup of tea? You don’t. Well, not at first at least. When making a cup of tea, I always recommend to try the tea more than once. With each time, make it differently than the last. Brew one cup with boiling water, and another cup with cooler water. Brew it once for 2 minutes, and brew it again for 5 minutes. When it comes to seeking out the perfect cup of tea, you need to keep in mind the previous point mentioned above: What is perfect to me, may not be perfect to you. Does this have to be stressful? Not at all! If you don’t like your cup of tea one way, then try it again. With this very act, you’re exploring you’re likes and dislikes, and you’re narrowing down your preferences. This exploration is not only fun, it’s constructive to figuring out your own personalized bliss-point. But with this, is it sustainable to afford enough tea to figure this out? Well, yes. It can if you want it to be. If you’re new to a specific type of tea, then buy an affordable version of that tea to experiment with. For myself, when I first got into Japanese Sencha, I bought the Costco-brand bagged sencha and brewed it multiple different ways until I figured out a method that worked best for me. With this, keep a few of these quick and helpful tips in mind when exploring your own flavor profile in tea... This should be a fun and empowering process. You can use pre-determined brewing instructions as a guideline, but if it doesn’t work for you, then branch out! But keep in mind, nobody is in the wrong. Don’t let anyone tell you that you’re enjoying your cup of tea the wrong way. You’re making tea for your own enjoyment, and no one else’s. If you're brewing tea for other people, then still brew it for your enjoyment. Hell, you bougt the tea with your own money. Your tea, your dollar, your method. Don’t read too heavily into snobby tea circles like the /r/tea subreddit. Reddit is a very negative website, to begin with. One incels truth does not have to be your truth. Boiled water can burn food products. Tea is an agricultural product. Burning things with water is singeing them. One of the ways tea releases flavors is through the release of an amino acid called L-theanin. Tea also releases tannins are broken down into two kinds: theaflavins and thearubigins. Tannins are extracted from the tea leaf based on the temperature of the water you use, because the hotter the water, the quicker it’ll draw the tannins out of the leaf quicker than the L-theanin and makes your cup of tea more acidic (which translates to bitter/astringent). Different tea types have different levels of tannins, because the more a tea is cooked and oxidized, the more it’ll lose its tannins. Green tea typically has a higher amount of tannins because it’s oxidized at a much lower level, and is typically steamed when cooked. Black tea has a lower amount of tannins because is it roasted and oxidized in a way that makes it lose them (well, in the very generalized sense — this rule doesn’t 100% always apply). So when you brew green tea, such as matcha for example, you don’t typically use boiling water to brew it because it’ll extract the tannins in a quicker and higher concentration before the L-theanin has a chance to be extracted from the leaf. This is why green tea is typically made with cooler water because it allows the L-theanin to become extracted before the tannins have a chance to become over-extracted and overpower the L-thenin. So when a .99¢ off-brand back-alley veteran tea blogger tells you that if a boiled green tea is bitter because the tea is produced incorrectly, then they are biologically incorrect for suggesting you can go against the laws of nature that are presented in basic food science, and are being a fucking stupid silicone dildo who needs to shut the hell up and be humbled out of their superiority complex. They're also racist because they're asserting that they know more than the tea farmer, whose culture is rooted in their own culture's heritage, by telling the tea farmer that they're wrong when they brew the farmer's tea incorrectly. Tell those stupid angelo-saxon colonizers to let people enjoy what they enjoy and stop blaiming tea farmers for their ignorance. To conclude, go out into the world of tea and have fun exploring! I can't wait for you to explore you're new tea adventure by finding your perfect cup of tea, and can't wait to see how you end up finding it <3 With much love, ~Cody aka The Oolong Drunk "Blissfully Tea Drunk"

Hello hello! Last month, a company reached out to me to create educational content for them on social media. After going back and forth on an agreement, we agreed that they’d sponsor me to create a reel, upload it, and add it as a creator on the post. The idea was that, with this agreement, my audience would see their brand as a form of advertising, with education surrounding their teas, and would help this tea company's web traffic. After spending six hours of filming and editing a reel, I was ready to upload. However, when the tea company reviewed the reel before publishing, they said, “This is great for education, but you didn’t review us. We believe you should review us in the reel to enhance the education.” After explaining to the company that in our agreement, I specifically negotiated that I did not want to review their tea and that I’d only be making an educational-only video. They replied, “Well, we understand that our original agreement outlines that the video be educational-only, but we will wait for payment until you add a review of it in the video. If you want, you can still post the video as-is so your work doesn’t go to waste.” So what did I do? I did exactly as they advised, by posting the video. I went back to my video editor, removed every mention of their company, deleted any video footage that displayed their branding, re-recorded my voice-over, and published it (which, you can see here). However, among the tea educator and blogging community, stories like these are way too common. Many of you might not know this, but I’ve actually worked in the tea industry for over a decade. Despite that I’ve only blogged about tea for 8 years, I have worked in various tea shops long before putting my thoughts to paper. As a fun fact, did you know I used to be a shift leader at Teavana before they closed? After being in the tea industry for so long, I have seen a pattern of disrespectful behaviors from the tea industry, to tea bloggers, educators, and influencers. So, how should tea companies approach and work with tea bloggers and influencers? What should tea companies know about tea bloggers before interacting with them? Below are 7 tips and factoids about tea bloggers that tea companies should keep in mind when approaching tea bloggers and influencers. (Photo: Me presenting at the 2023 Mid West Tea Festival in Overland Park, Kansas on October 22nd, 2023) 1. Understanding Tea Blogger’s Dispositions Many tea companies do not completely understand that many tea bloggers and tea influencers have to buy their way into the industry. What does this mean, exactly? Many tea bloggers, educators, and social media influencers are complexly out of pocket for all of the work they do. Many blog-hosting sites and domain websites cost a lot of money, and given the social-media presence of the tea industry as a whole, there is not a lot of opportunity for bloggers or influencers to make brand deals like other industries (such as the beauty industry, for example). When bloggers review tea, post photos, and publish reels, they’re doing it all on their own time and dime. 2. Valuing The size of Tea Social Media Audience In the tea industry, many tea bloggers have a smaller following when compared to other industries. The beauty-brand industry prevails on social media, whereas the tea industry across the board doesn’t reach anywhere near the same size of audience. At the time of this posting, Lipton only has 119,000 followers on Instagram. This type of size trickles down to tea bloggers and influencers. A tea blogger with a following of 2,000 followers, is a large number of followers. Tea bloggers primarily fall into the category of being a ‘micro-influencer’. However, it’s been studied that micro-influencers have a more direct tie-in to their audience, and when marketed to their audiences, can generate a more-dense revenue stream. Because micro-influencers following is a niche, it allows them to seek out people with a stronger buy-in to the hobby. 3. The Size vs. Value of Audiences In my experience, I’ve had many tea companies approach me when partnering with me, and undervalue my audience size. Hypocritically, many of these tea companies have a similar follow-count to me or less. Any tea companies have looked at my audience size and said, “Your follow count is only 5,000, the financial value of your size isn’t a lot.” However, if a tea company has a following of 2,000 followers, and I have a following of 6,000, then my reach is triple the audience of theirs. As I already mentioned above, this is all relative to the size of the industry on social media compared to other social media industries. My rhetorical question to you is, in what other industry can businesses afford to work with an influencer that has 300%+ of audience size to them? The difference in size-ratio doesn't make it less valuable. In fact, it makes it more valuable. 4. Why Bloggers Promote Some and Not Others, Willingly Now that we’ve covered that tea influencers have stronger engagement with their audience, this means that they have a stronger influence over their audience when compared to someone who has a massive following. However, when you tie in the fact that tea influencers are completely out of pocket for all that they do, this means that they will most likely only share content that relates to things they have personally enjoyed. If you’re a company and ever question why tea bloggers will post about many companies out of their own volition, it’s because they’ve had to filter all of this out for themselves. 5. Entitlement, ‘Exposure’ is NOT Payment While entitlement in the industry goes both ways (and is something I’ll cover in a future post), I can’t even begin to tell you the number of times I’ve had a company reach out to me and say, “I’ll pay you with exposure.” Nearly every single company that approached me with this, has had half of the following that I had…. Yes, that’s laughably bad. But, you can’t give a blogger better exposure when you already have less of a following to them. This is the quickest way to get an influencer to not only avoid working with you but to ghost you and never reply again. One other thing to remember is that work is work. Exposure is not payment, it’s just a keyword for use when you want to take advantage of someone without paying them. Educators, bloggers, etc. can’t pay bills for the equipment they need, to provide you free media. I can’t pay rent by showing my apartment's property manager the follow count on my Instagram page. 6. Is Tea an Acceptable Payment? When companies approach me and say they’ll pay me with exposure, and they are met with pushback, they’ll also offer to pay bloggers by giving them their product. However, this is not any better than offering to pay them in exposure. Why not? Well, let’s sit back for a moment and talk about my main career. Currently, I work as a banker at a bank, and I specialize in IRAs and HSAs. I also sometimes pull a cash drawer and help with teller work when we’re busy or short-staffed. Now, in my cash drawer, I’m required to keep a certain amount of money in my drawer. While l can’t disclose the actual number, let’s just say it's $5,000 for example. Now, how would you react if I told you that my bank required me to front up the $5,000 in cash for my cash drawer, to be able to work at the bank? That would be absurd, right? Supplying an employee with specific materials to perform their job duties is not considered payment. To drive this home more, I was once a freelance photographer for a leather company to help them take photos of their inventory for their yearly catalog. They had a massive warehouse of wholesale leather products, and they had thousands of photographs that they needed to take and process to be published in their catalog. Now, could you imagine if they tried me and told me that I’d have to take their photos for free because they didn’t require me to buy every single product I had to take a photo of? That’s still absurd, right? My counter-point this (or, the reality) is that most bloggers and influencers will happily promote tea brands for free if given free tea because many bloggers will see this as their hobby being self-funded. However, not all of them feel this way, and that also doesn’t mean companies should take advantage of blogger’s goodwill. If tea companies want to support bloggers and influencers for collaborations, then support them. As I mentioned above, calculate the value and what it means for your company to have the advertising space of being promoted by a blogger, and move forward accordingly. At the end of the day, it's an advertising expense. 7. Work is Work In the latter part of my blogging career, I have veered away from reviewing teas and focusing more on tea education. While doing so, I’ll often work and collaborate with tea companies to utilize their products to promote tea education. I’ve also been approached by companies to help them promote their products by hosting live sessions with them, as well as various other content — including product photography. However, many of these deals did not come to fruition because I required some sort of financial compensation for my time. I’ve had the reason of ‘audience size’ be cited for why I shouldn’t be compensated (adding on from the ‘exposure’ comment from earlier in this article). However, at the end of the day, work is still work. Filming videos, taking photos, editing visual media, interviewing, and hosting sessions all require work. I will say it again — work is still work. Let's give an example: You’re throwing a wedding with over 200+ guests in attendance. You have an audience of around 200+ people, and you want to cherish the memory of your wedding by hiring a wedding photographer. The wedding photographer spends 4+ hours taking photos attending the wedding. They go home, sift through thousands of photos, and narrow down the shots to several hundred. They then spend the next month editing the several hundred photos and make them look as perfect as possible. Now, imagine going to this photographer and saying, “Hey your work is incredible but my wedding only had an audience of a little over 200 people, I don’t believe I should monetarily compensate you because the audience at the wedding isn’t as big as we wanted, and you should be grateful for the experience. You got exposure to those 200 people anyway, and that could lead to more opportunities.” That would be absurd, right?! RIGHT! Exactly! If you go to a content creator for product photography/videography, and you don’t feel like you should pay them because they don’t have a Kylie Jenner following, then you’d be just as absurd. Not only are you assuming you deserve free labor, but you’re also telling content creators that their skills, extensive education in said hobby, work-history, and content are valueless. You’re telling them you deserve to use their extensive research and history in said niche for free. (Photo: Me presenting at the 2023 Mid West Tea Festival in Overland Park, Kansas on October 22nd, 2023) How to Move Forward: The Bottom Line Let’s cut to the chase: Many tea bloggers and influencers are wonderful kind-hearted people who partake in this industry because they have a true passion for it. Many bloggers do not financially benefit from being in the tea industry, and many of them are actually indebted to it. Many tea bloggers would love a chance to talk about your product, and simply, would be grateful to just have the opportunity to connect with you. Tea bloggers are passionate people who absolutely love what they do because they have a pure love for the industry and the product. I can say for myself that I have a long history of being used, taken advantage of, and manipulated by tea companies for 8+ years, but keep coming back because I absolutely love what I do. With this, keep in mind that many tea bloggers do not receive any monetary help of any kind, and they fight an uphill battle. Despite fighting the uphill battle, they are often excluded from many narratives that they helped create off the sweat of their backs. Tea educators, bloggers, and influencers do not reap the benefits of their work; they do not reap the benefits of their work in the same way that other influencers and bloggers receive from other industries. With this, move forward with compassion, understanding, and a realization that tea educators, bloggers, and influencers are a massive asset to the world of tea because of their dense pipeline of content-to-follower. We are also the largest asset the industry has to offer because we will be your biggest cheerleaders and want to see you grow and succeed. Also, don’t forget that when educators, bloggers, and influencers succeed, the entire industry succeeds. As a tea educator and blogger, I can safely say that we just want you to want the same success for us, that we want for you. Thank you for reading and thank you for being willing to learn a new approach to working with educators, bloggers, and influencers. Just by reading this, you are already taking one massive step forward. With best wishes, ~ Cody Aka The Oolong Drunk “Blissfully Tea Drunk…”

Choo-choo! All aboard! Today, we have a thrilling adventure in store for you. Today's story will take place on a train, and will include various James Bond-esque melodramatic scenes, and will include snarky fourth-wall breaking scenes as well. While boarding today’s locomotive, you’ll be receiving a ticket to the luxurious first-class cabin that will include the amenity of ‘spilling the tea’. Yes, that’s right! As we cross though the St. Louis Arch and travel West, we’ll be on the adventure that is my blog’s fourth consecutive bloggisavery post -- where I spill all about this past year’s tea blogger drama. With this, pack your baggage as I unload mine, and we will travel down the train tracks of how my biggest year in tea ended up being my worst year in tea. All aboard! We’re now boarding the train. (Photo credit: Saraii Seleste Photography, at Trident Booksellers in Boulder, Colorado) Starting our Journey: Loading The Cars Boarding this train included being linked up with various different kinds of train cars that would all be leading the adventure — launching car passengers into 2023. All of the various train cars lined in a succession of the events that represents my past year in tea. The first train-car sat passengers that would be headed to a New York adventure. The next train car then loaded up passengers that would be for a Colorado Adventure. Last but not least, the last train car that concluded the train is the the caboose — which was full of passengers that were destined to arrive in Las Vegas. However, unbeknownst to the conductor, these train cars were built to fail. These train cars were built by ’Chaos’ — and Chaos degraded the quality of these train cars in a similar fashion to when Boeing dropped in quality after switching CEO’s in the 90’s. Also unbeknownst to me, the anticipated joy ride would turn into a 'Final Destination' of my own. At sharp o’clock, the train left the station and was well on its way to a destination it would never reach... (Photo credit: Saraii Seleeste Photography, at Trident Booksellers in Boulder, Colorado) Train Car 3: The Caboose After planning for this trip for over a year, my time had finally come. I looked out of the window of the Caboose of the train, and out into the desert to see a vast landscape sand (or, a blank slate). With this blank slate, the picture had been painted that I’d be a keynote speaker for an educational incubator for one of the largest tea conventions in the Corporate States of America. This convention was one of the pinnacles of the tea industry in the West, and anybody who was anybody would be attending this event. On top of these 'anybodies who were anybodies' were a higher tier of privilege, who got to speak at this said-event. Out of the entire industry, I was one of the lucky ones who held a Golden Ticket. As one of the keynote speakers for this event, I gathered over a dozen allies to join me on this trip. I also sold booth space for this event to a vendor who relied on me to help them get set-up at the event. At this point, I had also supported this institution by writing for one of their subsidiaries for over two years as a regular contributor. The ticket prices to see me speak were extravagant, and I had finally made it to the pinnacle of tea blogging. I went from being a follower in the industry, to being a leader of it. With being a leader, I also took the lead for organizing a blogger meet-up on the showroom floor.I wanted to meet some of the people who supported me in my journey, and also meet other fellow tea-bloggers who were on the same journey as me. This was my victory lap. This was my time to celebrate my career in the industry. However, I wouldn’t be writing about Las Vegas if any of this went perfectly well, would I? When I got off of the train and onto the platform, the conductor of that train had halted and would be stopped in its tracks. First, one of the event organizers reached out to me. She claimed she worked for the convention as a liaison of the bloggers. She hears whispers that I was organizing a meet-up with the other bloggers, and said that I was wrong for doing so. This particular person used to be a tea blogger herself, but abandoned her tea blog seven-plus years ago to work in the fashion industry. Despite that her personal involvement in the tea industry had long-belonged to the past, she told me she held the authority of tea bloggers and she was the authority I’d need to report to from this point on. She then told me that I needed to compile a list of all of my tea blogger friends, with their contact info., and hand all of my work over to her so she could take it all from me, and that it was now all of her responsibility. When I asked her why, she said it was because the tea expo viewed all of the tea bloggers as ‘users who only show up for free stuff’. She explained that her voice was more valuable than mine, and since my career was only in existence for the prospect of free shit, she could get me further. She said her voice was at the only one the expo would listen to. She said she'd be doing this remotely, as her main career in the fashion industry would prevent her from going to the expo herself... She was now both the gate, and the key, for me to carry on with my personal project of meeting other tea bloggers. After we hung up that phone call, I immediately blocked her number. Now, as for my next horror? I had asked the event manager, and expo owner, for a hall pass for me to bring plus-one to the event. Given I was speaking as a headliner, and given I wanted to bring a family member with me for support, I figured this would be an easy accommodation, right? Wrong. Bot the manager and owner responded with, “No more free stuff.” I was confused because up to this point, I had not asked for anything at all. Not only did I convince 12+ people to spend money at the event, but I had also got the expo clients to run booths at the event as well. With context, the conference paid me $400 to show up. I paid $1,000 for the entire trip out of pocket, which meant that I was $600 in the red for this event. I brought the estimated $10,000 to their event, and when I asked for a hall pass, I’m somehow using them for free stuff...? I felt manipulated, gaslit, and above all else, I felt utterly worthless. I didn’t want to go anymore, but also, I signed a contract, which meant that I am now using a redundant statement in this story by saying 'I couldn’t not go'. I was now forced to go to an event where the industry reduced me to being a ‘beggar’. I showed up to my presentation, gave one of the best presentations I’ve ever given in my career, took photos with friends, and left Vegas with a cup of bitter tea in hand. The train then left the platform, and resumed on its journey on the train tracks. While further along on the tracks, I published my review of my experience of the expo on the blog, went viral with it, and got fired from writing for the publication that was tied to the expo. My editor of two-plus years unfriended me on social media, and my career as a professional writer within the tea industry was now over. I was no longer a leader, and no longer a follower; I was nothing... In a moment of sheer random chaos, a rock got thrown onto the train track — causing the wheel of the Caboose to jump off of the tack. After quickly noticing the train car losing speed, I quickly got off of my train seat and stumbled as the train car rocked back and forth. I grabbed my carry-on and went to the front of the train car — seeing that the hook that had pulled the train car to the locomotive had un-hooked. As the gap between the train cars slowly widened, I took a deep breath, clutched my carry-on, and jumped from the caboose onto the next train car. I grabbed the handle from the side of the next rain car, turned around, and watched the caboose come to a slowing halt —being left behind on the train tracks… (Photo credit: Saraii Seleste Photography, at Trident Booksellers in Boulder, Colorado) Train Car 2: Colorado While safely traveling further away from the disaster that was the caboose, I saught safety in a train car that was the most solid link on the train. This link was built on friendships that had spanned over three years. These were friendships that I had made through out my tea blogging journey, and after a while, some of these friendships turned into chosen family. My chosen brother got married, and I even flew out to make tea at their wedding. With this, his wife became my new chosen sister by default. My chosen brother and I had virtual tea for several years, and when he got married, we included his wife and continued to have virtual tea with each other on a regular basis. To my joyous surprise, they booked a trip to Colorado. They booked this trip six months in advanced, and would be traveling to see me on July 4th. With this new Chosen Family Reunion, we invited several other friends to travel to Colorado to join us on our Colorado tea shenanigans. To join us was a bi-alley from Texas and another chosen family member whom I had collaborated with previously on my blog’s talk show (who, we'll call Saxophone for the story). This couldn’t have come at a better time — this was 3-4 months after the caboose of my train had derailed and I really needed the company. I had experienced a lot of social isolation by that point, so what could be better than visiting my chosen family? July 4th came around, the newlyweds flew in, Saxophone also flew in, and the Bi-Ally drove up from Texas. Over the course of the next three days, we had a Colorado adventure. We became tourists in my hometown, had tea at various shops, ate at various restaurants, and hiked into the mountains. After three days of non-stop adventure, Saxophone flew home, then the newlyweds flew home, then the bi-alley drove home. The trip was perfect and had a Disney ending, and everyone lived happily ever after… You didn’t actually believe that, did you? This is my blog’s anniversary post, which is famous for being a tell-all and full of drama and whatnot. As much as I want this train car to ride along happily to the train’s destination, it won’t. By the way, don't you just love fourth-wall breaking? Hi reader! How are ya? Are you enjoying this year's post? I know it's a little slow at the moment, but just stick with me here. It's going to fall apart even more, I promise <3 Anywho, let's get back to the story... After everyone left, I realized that I was wrong to connect this car to my train because it wasn't as solid as I once thought. After weeks went by, none of my chosen-family had answered my calls. Our virtual tea sessions came to an end, and the friendships that had been an instrumental part of my life had suddenly disappeared. While insecure, I reached out Saxophone and inquired as to what I did wrong. He later replied and said he had just been busy with his new internship, school, and also taking a summer trip. He then said he loved me. I took my newfound reassurance and went to the Newly Weds and asked them about if everything was okay. They said they had also been busy and had been too busy to schedule time to catch-up with me. They also reassured me and said the Colorado trip was incredibly fun, and they had a wonderful time. I had nothing to worry about. They also told me they loved me. However, I reached out to the Bi-Alley and confronted him with my insecurity by asking, “Are we ok?" Ten minutes of typing later, he said that our friendship would be coming to an end. Despite that we had virtual tea for over a year, meeting me in person was different. He said that he didn’t wish to be friends with me any longer. There was no further explanation, no further reasoning, and no clarification. Our near two-year friendship was over... It's safe to say, Insecurity entered the train car. Despite being devastated, I looked around the train car and realized that it was now empty. I spent three years filling this car with friends who turned into family, and despite the validity of them stepping off the train, it didn’t change the fact that they had gotten off. Even as of now, while writing this post seven months later, I had only had virtual tea with Saxophone twice, and never had virtual tea with the Newley-Weds again. Three years of consistency turned into an infinite emptiness in the matter of minutes. I packed my carry-on, opened the door that connected this car to the first train car, and turned around to look at the hollow structure one last time. I pulled out a hatchet from my carry-on and held onto it tightly as I took a deep breath. With the swing of my hatchet, and a tear strolling down my cheek, I took a swing and detached the car from the train. The connection broke, and the train kept traveling forward — leaving the train car behind in an infinite emptiness as it became a part of this voyage’s past… Train Car 1: New York While traveling on the last train car on my maiden voyage (Is that exclusively a boat term...? Ok that, but whatever the train version of that is…), I realized I was in the most structurally sound train car on this entire journey. You see, despite riding in this train car now, this particular train car had been under construction since January of 2023. The construction started with a meeting with an East Coast tea company, who met with me to discuss plans surrounding my talk show's fifth and final season. At this point, I had already been in production with the final season for several months and wanted to go out with a bang. That said-bang would be hosting the premiere of my tea talk show in New York City, in a joint event with this particular tea company. I would also film three episodes of the show while in New York as well — getting double usage for this trip. This was all set to take place in the fall, and given this would be a paid event, they’d be covering my travel expenses and sponsoring the premiere. After a very successful meeting, the train car started construction. So what did she have to do with my rail journey to New York? We’ll get back to that in a moment. Anywho, at the end of my successful meeting, I began writing the script for the fifth and final season of my talk show. With the format being on Youtube, I decided to take a new approach to this season — I’d scrip comedy bits that were ‘out there’, and I would also be performing in a new persona that asked absurdly silly questions to a panel. After writing a script for a character that would be zanier than myself, I lined up the panels and began filming the talk show through Zoom. I also flew to Mississippi and filmed on-location at a tea far as well. This was great because all of my friends were on board with playing along with the show’s new antics. I filmed ‘in-character’ for three-plus months, organized collaborations that spanned across the globe, and even set up a charity drive for the talk show’s final season. However, as the fall arrived, I realized something was missing — the tea company whom I had been planning this event with. After reaching out to them for clarification that we’d still be hosting the premiere of my talk show, they verified they had a few locations in mind to host it and our plans were foolproof. I began inviting friends to travel to New York and join the event, I took PTO from work, and the ball was finally rolling. The turbulence of the tea expo and the failed friendships were finally in the past, and I had something monumental to look forward to. It would be the revival of my career. Except, this is my regularly scheduled anniversary blog post… You what's coming. Three weeks before the event, I got a message from the tea company. They informed me that they hadn’t been planning for the event all summer and that there wasn’t enough time to secure a location last minute for the event. With this, they said they’d only pay for my airfare, and I’d have no place to stay when I arrived. When I confronted them about everything, they said that a place to stay didn’t encompass the parameters of the term ‘travel’. They also said they got busy and didn't mean for me to plan for an event that was no-longer happening. I didn’t save for travel to NYC because I didn’t know I’d have to budget for it three weeks in advanced. After a bit of arguing (which mostly consisted of me telling the tea company off) we parted ways. I was then thrown into a massive panic attack as I realized two things would now have to happen, — I’d now have to call six separate people to tell them to cancel their reservations and travel plans to New York City. When making these phone calls, I learned that four of the six people had non-refundable travel expenses that they now lost money on. With this horrific revelation, the second thing I learned that I’d now have to scrap three and a half episodes of my tea talk show, which were filmed with the intent of having filming continue in New York City. I’d have to re-film nearly half of my tea talk show and start over. While in a panic, I tried reaching out to my writing friend. We had grown distant since filming my talk show earlier in the spring, due to her busy schedule with her up-and-coming project. However, when asked to have virtual tea with her, she said we’d have to plan a virtual meeting with each other for almost two months out due to her new busy schedule. While upset, I looked around my train car and realized that something was odd. The train was traveling faster and faster in the opposite direction of where I was supposed to go. I jimmied open a window, stuck my head out, and saw that the train was headed directly for the Grand Canyon. In one last-ditch effort to save my train, I used one of my last lifeline andI phoned a friend. We’ll call him Coddled Rich White Boy, who I had befriended several years prior to this. CRWB and I had grown close due to the fact he was also a tea blogger. Him and I had met at the expo, and we had spent time together for when I few out to Chicago a year prior. When reaching out to him, I expressed that I had lost a part of my career, my close friendships, and now the one thing I had left — my tea blog. I told him that I was isolated, experiencing destructive loneliness, and my mental health was slipping… To my surprise, he understood. He told me to book plane tickets to Chicago to see him so I could take a break from my life, and I could enjoy the company of a friend. He then sent me $100 to help afford a $400 round-trip plane ticket to Chicago, with the agreement that I'd help him host a tea-tasting event he was organizing. With my new life preserver, my train switched courses and was now driving along the edge of the Grand Canyon. Except, a two weeks later (a week away from seeing him on the same weekend I was supposed to go to New York), CRWB called me to tell me that a family reunion was happening the same weekend I was supposed to fly out and see him, so he made reservations to see his family instead. He canceled his event, I had to cancel my flight, and I told him I needed space from him. I told him that I felt betrayed, and inevitably, our friend ship ended. I snapped. I started posting pleas for help on social media, and asked various friends for help. I was becoming suicidal and realized that I had a constant panic attack that lasted for three straight weeks. I looked around and I now had zero friendships, a tanked blogging and writing career, and a show that I had been working on all year — just falling apart last minute. I had lost over $300 on my trip to Chicago, caused four people to lose money on travel plans because of me, and was completely isolated from everyone who once mattered to me. As I sat in the last remaining train car of social and career isolation, with the train repositioning its GPS to go full-steam ahead into the Grand Canyon, I will ask you — the reader: How many friends watched me suffer and struggle, to the point that I was on the brink of death? How many people in my life do YOU think offered assistance to help get me off this train ride that was plummeting into the everlasting Canyon of depression and suicidal ideation? Zero. Everyone in my life became a witness to my mental health downfall as my train finally derailed, and headed straight for the canyon. As the train’s whistle began to blow full steam, ran to the back door of the last train car, swung the door violently open, ran, and jumped off the train as the train plummeted off of the edge of the canyon — disappearing into the abyss forever… (Photo credit: Saraii Seleste Photography, at Trident Booksellers in Boulder, Colorado) Finale: Walking the Desert As I walked away from the canyon of dispare, I called another tea blogger during a panic attack. For the story’s sake, I was wandering endlessly in the desert. In reality, I was on the rooftop of a high parking garage and was ready to jump off with a note in hand. This particular blogger talked me out my panic attack and helped calm me down. But, how did I end up on a rooftop, ready to jump? Well, shit continued to hit the fan. After pushing back the premiere of my talk show by a month, and scrambling to put together a show that was half-scrapped and re-shot last minute, I was accused of being on drugs. Despite giving a disclaimer before filming my panels, most of the panelists quickly distanced themselves from me and thought my being ‘in character’ was just a mask for me being an addict. While I had worked on the scrips for the panel for almost a full year at this point, what really hurt about these accusations was that not one person reached out to me to ask if I was okay… I wasn’t on drugs, but hell, if you saw me trippin' so bad that you thought I was winning gold for the Long Jump at the Olympics, I would hope that at least one person would ask how my mental state was. My show went to shit, my freelance writing career went to shit, my social life went to shit, and I was isolated more than ever. With carrying a weight that was too heavy, and with the help of a fellow blogger, I found a therapist and started getting help. I began therapy, and slowly walked further into the desert and far away from the edge of the Grand Canyon. As far as my friendship with the ‘coddled rich white kid’ goes, that also hit me pretty hard. I had harbored this friendship for around two years, and when I needed him most, he canceled on me. It wasn’t like we lived in the same city and our places were canceled last minute — I had invested over $400+ to visit him when I had reached rock bottom. When someone is drowning and you send them a life preserver, just to pull it right back and say ‘sike! I gotch’ya’, was very hard for me to accept. I knew he had issues of his own, but I still took time from this friendship. After a few months of distance, I ran into him at the MidWest Tea Fest, where he was representing a tea company. After trying to come around to this friendship again and extending an olive-branch, he sent me a few angry texts — saying I was initially wrong to throw away our friendship. But, was I wrong to take time to myself to recover, when he left our friendship first? I say no. He would say yes. But when I took time to myself to recover from how he hurt me, he claimed I 'disrespected his namesake'. (I uh, I dunno how to respond to 'disrespecting his namesake' besides, how white-boy of him to respond that way but here we are). While in my recovery, I had also reached out to the Newly Wed couple and the Saxophone friend who visited me in the summer. They all chatted with me on the phone, reassured me that our friendship was okay and I had nothing to worry about. I had to accept that although they still had love for me, the the dynamic of our friendships had changed -- and that's okay. They weren't wrong, and neither was I. They are the greatest three people I'll ever meet... I don't have a point with this, besides that I just love miss them. This past year in my blog has had some bright spots, such as getting to film the talk show at The Great Mississippi Tea Farm and getting to go to the MidWest Tea Festival as a consultant for Snarky Tea. I also got to have my own tea cake pressed for the talk show, and also mat a lot of lovely people from the Colorado Tea Society (hi Peter, hi Jenn, and hi Brian!) . However, when it was all said and done I still walked into my apartment to find an empty home; I was still alone in the desert. It's not like I haven't tried making connections with people offline either. My failure at doing so would require a separate post, but one of the amazing things about the online community I had is that I could fall back on my online friendships. I mean, most of us were friends for several years who had virtual tea with each other on a regular basis, so it wasn't as much a fallback as much as it was a part of my life. However, for the remainder of my virtual friends all dropped out of my life. Through rumors, I heard that they dropped out of my life because they were also going through something. Instead of reaching out like me, they all reacted with an avoidant-attachment style, and when shit hit the fan for them, they dropped out of my life. I watched nearly all of my virtual friendships fall apart and avoid me, yet still post on a regular basis because they said it helped their mental health -- but not so much that they shut me out and disappeared from my life. If my friends can't share their life with me, and be honest, and shut me out and ghost me, then I don't need any further proof of the way in which I perceived the valued those relationships, was not the actuality of how they were actually valued... If a friend shuts me out (like, the coddled rich kid from Chicago for example), it's not up to me to understand them if they don't communicate that they're going through something. If I reach out to them and try to obtain a better understanding of them and they're avoidant, then it's not really on me to save those friendships because they never gave me the opportunity to be understanding of them or their struggle... Could I have reached out to them and ask for reassurance again? Sure, I could have but didn't because simply, I didn't fucking feel like it. I couldn't deal with being ghosted again. My heart longs for them and I miss them terribly. However, I read somewhere earlier in the year that the term love is not a noun, it's a verb. Relationships go both ways, and it takes two people to make any kind of relationship work. Some of the other friends I've made with other tea bloggers have expressed that they want to spend time with me and want to meet over tea, but only under the condition of meeting at the Expo -- the same expo that launched the start of my series of unfortunate petty events... After expressing to so many of them that I would meet them anywhere else, and meet under different circumstances, they went silent. This in itself, made me feel devalued in these friendships as well. I don't blame them, because really, I was miserable around the majority of the tea friends I met in Vegas (due to the circumstances) and probably left a bad taste in their mouth. Maybe I'm part to blame for this. Maybe I ran them off. Maybe I was clingy to some of these friends because I felt my reality slip through my hands and witness my world fall apart in real-time, and they distanced themselves so they wouldn't have to be apart of a derailing train. Maybe if I was on a train that was derailing and I was desperate for help, maybe I needed people in my life who were understanding and loving, instead of avoidant. Maybe I needed love and compassion, but, got silence and ghosting instead... While walking in my desert, another tea blogger reached out to me and said the best way to fix my problem is to practice spending time by myself. This social isolation hit even harder with the realization that I have gone seven months of the year without a hug from friends or family -- three months being the longest stretch without one. My loneliness is already killing me enough as it is, so the idea of being even-more alone feels like a death sentence... I’m now walking into my eighth year in blogging and trying to find my way out of the desert. While trying to navigate social isolation, loneliness, and lack of community, I can at least say I’ve made a lot of progress with my therapist and I’m no longer suicidal. No longer being suicidal should feel like an accomplishment, but it just feels like that the bar for recovery is still set too low -- especially when I feel more isolated now than I ever had. I’ll be walking out of this dry heat, and will be searching for a way out of this desert. My heart is hurting, I’m sunburnt, and dehydrated, but I’ll be finding my way out of this desert the same way I began this journey… …alone ~Cody Wade Aka The Oolong Drunk (Photo credit: Saraii Seleste Photography, at Trident Booksellers in Boulder, Colorado) Also, P.S. To the Oregon tea company who blocked me on Instagram when I told them they had a ‘white savior complex’ over their belief that all of the world’s wars were fought over tea, I have one question for you: How did I know that you were born a rich white kid who only dates Asian women? How exactly did I know that? For some reason, rich straight white guys LOVE Asian women, and claim that they are unique for drinking a drink that has caused all of the world's wars… If you are a straight white man from America whose parents have an exuberant amounts of money, and you identify as a tea drinker, the following message also pertains to you as well so listen up: Tea does not need a white savor, and you are not unique for drinking the second most drank beverage in the world. You did not invent tea, you did not invent tea culture, and you are not a part of the trade history of the tea industry. Does the tea trade have involvement in some wars? Yes. But with the same logic, you could also stupidly argue that red lights cause all traffic accidents for people who run red lights… In case my example is too complex for your 'I read Marvel comics and I can save her’ brain, I’m here to tell you that involvement does NOT equate causation. I'm also afraid to ask for the opinion of how this fits into WWII, because I'm afraid you'd say that WWII was caused when Hitler got pissed at China over the tea trade and took it out on the Jewish race, you idiotic fuckface. But, you know that making a statement like that would be incorrect, right? Do you also realize that when you manipulate a complex Asian history into your Anglo-Saxon American narrative, you're making a racist statement, right? You’re not unique; you’re a coddled rich white kid loser who has never had to work a real day in his life, and you’ll amount to nothing. Go outside, touch grass, and go fuck yourself with your parent's money and go fuck yourself with your racism. Oh, wait, are some of my assumptions about you wrong? Oh, my bad, you of all people should understand the feeling of grossly misrepresenting something to fit your personal narrative. Silly me! I wonder where I learned that from!? That is all... If you want to read previous-year's Blog Anniversary posts, you can check them out here: 5 Years in Tea: My Side of the Story 6 Year Bloggiversary: SOS! The Sinking of the RMS Tea 7 Year Bloggiversary - You Sold Out Your Culture Special thanks to the talented photographer Saraii, whose work can be found here! If you happen to be in Denver and need photos taken of yourself, please reach out to her! Also, more special thanks to Trident Booksellers and Cafe, who gave me permission to have my photos taken at their shop. Trident has become one of my absolute favorite hang-out spots, and has been a place of safety for me over the past year. You can buy their teas online here! Please show them some love :)

Hello hello! As various critics from all over the world release their arbitrary end-of-year lists for 2023 to help boost their site’s SEO results, I figured I’d hop on the trend of optimizing on cashing in on my SEO points by doing the same thing. Keep in mind, my list is entirely subjective, and subjective to the bubble that I live in. I will make bold statements about my personal opinions with an authoritative stance, and will leave out the majority of the tea industry because I’m only limited to what I see on a daily basis from my instagram feed. So in my opinion, who is the best of 2023? I’ll be going over the ‘best’ tea shops from various refined categories, and at the end, I’ll list out the overall best-7 tea shops that encompass all of my bases. So lets dig in! Note: No one from the list paid me, or sponsored me, to be on this list. However, if you are a company and see that you are listed on this list and feel generous enough to help compensate me, I will not say no. DM me on instagram for my Venmo info. (Photo Location: Trident Booksellers, Boulder Colorado) Travel: Under this category, we’ll go over the best tea destinations that are the most travel worthy! Best US Tea Room/Cafe: The Steeped Leaf, San Antonio TX (link) Best US High Tea: Tea Around Town, New York City NY (link) Best US Tea House: North East Tea House, Minneapolis MN (link) Best US Tea Shop: Song Tea and Ceramics, San Francisco CA (link) Best UK Tea Shop, Tea Blends: Bird & Blend Tea Co., Brighton UK (Link) Best UK Tea Shop, Single-Sourced: Postcard Teas, London UK (link) Best UK Tea House: Mei Leaf, London UK (link) Best Canadian Tea Shop, Tea Blends World Tea House, Halifax Canada (link) Best Canadian Tea House: Camellia Sinesis, Quebec/Montreal Canada (link) Best European Tea House, Eastern Europe: T Element, Belgrade Serbia (link) Best Tea House, Central Europe: Chá Dào Tee Haus, Frankfurt Germany (link) Best Tea Shop, Central Europe: Marriage Freres, Paris France (link) Best European Tea House, Nordic: Spill The Tea, Oslo Norway (link) Best Mexican Tea House: Tomás Casa Editora de Té, Mexico City Mexico (link) Best South American Tea House: Quinta Esencia Tea House, Lima Peru (link) Best Oceania/Australian Tea Destination: Zealong Tea, Gordonton New Zealand (Link) Media/Social: Under this category, we’ll go over the best tea entities that has helped progress tea socially, excelled in marketing, or other various tea contents. Best Heart Warming/Motivational Tea Shop: Be Still Tea (link) Best Social Media Marketing Campaign: My Tea Flow USA (link) Best Tea App: Steeped (link) Best Tea Talk-Show: Blissfully Tea Drunk With, Season 5 (link) Best Personal Tea Podcast: Geek Steep (link) Best Corporate Tea Podcast: Steeping Together (link) Best Tea Publication: 80 Degrees Magazine (link) Best Facebook Group: The Snark Squad (link) Best Instagram Feed: Kelly, Ros_Strange on Instagram (link) Best Web Series: Midnight Tea Tastings, by Crimson Lotus Tea (instagram) (link) Best Youtube Tea Influencer: Tea with Jann (link) Best Instagram LIVE Host: UNY Tea Store, Jeffrey (link) Best Social Media Influencer: Vedika, ChaiMusaFirBlogs (link) Best Tea Instagram Baddie: Ana Likes Tea (link) Best Tea Blog: Nicole, Tea For Me Please (link) Best Blog Post: Tea With Neldon — Pesticides and Propaganda: How China Impacts the Vietnamese Tea Industry (link) Best Tea Art: Ruby Silvious, Tea Bag Art (link) Hottest Tea Blogger: Me, duh (link) Events: This next category encompasses the best tea related events surrounding the world of tea. Best US Tea Festival: The Mid West Tea Festival (link) Best Non US Tea Festival: The Toronto Tea Festival (link) Best Tea-House for Hosting Various Events: Sip Jo Jo Tea (link) Best Tea Group/Public Gathering: The Chicago Tea Collective (link) Best Tea Educational Program/Class: Being Tea, by Suzette Hammond (link) Tea and Tea Ware: This Next Category encompasses the best tea by location, tea ware, and various tea-related merch and products: Best Taiwanese Sourced Tea: Grand Crew Co. (link) Best Japanese Sourced Tea: Sugimoto Tea (link) Best African Sourced Teas: Cured Leaves Tea (link) Best Chinese Sourced Teas: Farmerleaf Tea (link) Best US Grown Tea: The Great Mississippi Tea Company (link) Best Bagged Tea/Tea Bags: Seven Tea House (link) Best Milk Tea and/or Boba: Milk Tea People (link) Best Chai Tea: The Chai Box (link) Best Matcha Tea: Marumatsu Tea Corporation (link) Best Innovative Tea Shop Offering: Smith Tea Co, for their cafe's 'tea flights' educational tea tastings (link) Best New Tea Company: Intergalactic Tea (link) Best Tea Club/Subscription: HoYum Tea (link) Best Canned/Pre Made Tea: Twrl Milk Tea, Jasmine Pu'Erh Milk Tea, with Pea Milk (link) Best Tea Ware, Traditional: Yinchen Studios (link) Best Individual Tea Potter/Ceramist: Sanguine Tea Pots, Mark Mohler (link) Best Tea Related Merch: Spirit Tea’s Clothing Line (link) Best Tea Related Product, Food/Beverage: Australian Tea Masters, Non-Alcoholic Tea Wine (link) Best Christmas Advent Calendar: David’s Tea, 24 Trips of Tea (link) Best Tea Stationary/Writing Materials: Tea Thoughts (link) Best 7 Tea Shops of 2023: The following tea shops are, in my opinion, the best 7 tea shops in all of 2023. These tea companies have had excellent in innovation, creativity, and have consistently released incredible product lines that have exceeded the expectation set by the industry-norm. These tea companies also contribute in creating community, and have help grow the tea industry to a very substantial amount. They are placed in random order, and do not rank above one another: Bitterleaf Teas (link) Bitterleaf Teas won this spot by their diverse selection of accessible tea, tea ware, and their contributions to the puer tea market. Their ability to source affordable, easy-to-drink, and complex teas, is a delicate balance that they make look easy. Crimson Lotus Tea (link) Crimson Lotus Tea won this spot for their authencitiy, their side selection of incredible teas, and their ability to bring the greater tea community together. Not only is Crimson Lotus Tea personable, their tea is truly incredible, accessible, and truly one of a kind. Snarky Tea (link) Snarky Tea won this spot for their ability to create community while offering a wide selection of tea and tea-ware, and consistently releasing new products to keep their audience engaged. Their growth and originality is noteworthy. Volition Tea (link) Volition Tea won this spot for their collaborations and partnerships with various tea companies, their ability to bring incredible new teas to their site, and their ability to grow and connect with various people in their tea community. What makes this impressive, is the fact that Volition Tea is ran by only one woman. White2Tea (link) White2Tea won this spot by providing a large selection of tea. Their tea library is accessible, fun, and helps bridge a gap between tea and non-tea people. White2Tea has also managed to have a monthly tea club that has consistently stayed exciting despite for being around for over a half-decade, and is not afraid to release new tea productions that can’t be found anywhere else. Their innovation is currently changing the tea industry as we know it. Trident Booksellers (link) Trident booksellers win this spot for various reasons. Trident Booksellers is a book press, a coffee shop, a live-music venue, and a tea shop. Their tea selection is refined, complex, and tasty. They carry teas that are for every kind of tea drinker, as well as proving gong-fu service as well. Despite having some of the best coffee in the US, they managed to carry some of the best tea in the US as well. They carry their own productions of tea, and provide a safe space for all walks of life to sit and enjoy a cup of tea. Locals and tourists from all over the world, come to Boulder, Colorado to experience a piece of magic that is known as Trident Booksellers. One River Tea (link) One River Tea won a spot on this list for various reason. Derek, the man behind the madness, has overcome great adversity. He might not want me to air out his journey, but despite his hardships, he has managed to release some of the greatest teas the market has seen. He has also helped other tea companies release their own tea productions, and has an online presence that emotes friendship and warmth. This one-man show is something that the entire industry should take note of. Final thoughts: The World of tea has been a mixed bag this year, but despite the industry’s massive shortcomings, amazing people have immersed out of the woodwork to prove that the industry-at-large as we know it, will no longer cater to the same few tea companies. But rather, 2023 proves that tea companies can rely of innovation, kindness, and tact to succeed in the currently market. You didn't need to be a nepo-baby to make it big in tea this past year. Here’s to 2024, and here’s to an even brighter and nepotism-free future. Best wishes, ~Cody Wade Aka The Oolong Drunk

Hello hello! This past March, I was invited to be one of the keynote speakers for World Tea Expo 2023! After returning for a second year in a row, I have finally collected my thoughts and decided to go over how this year’s World Tea Expo went. How did it go? What about the clickbait title I gave this review? Let’s dive in and find out! Me during my incubator lecture, photo credit to the talented photographers at World Tea Expo This year, I attended World Tea Expo as one of their Business-Incubator speakers on the first day of the expo. For the expo, I spoke about small banking within the world of tea. The incubator was full in attendance and had various speakers from different walks of the world of tea. I even won several social-media polls for World Tea Expo as the most anticipated speaker for the expo. After being in the industry for close to a decade, and writing about the industry as an educator and influencer for over seven years, felt like a major victory for my journey in tea. Days two and three are when the expo floor opened. World Tea Expo, which was run in contingency with the Bar & Restaurant Expo, expanded and covered more floor space on the expo floor than it did the previous year. To add, World Tea Expo’s floor plan was slightly more segregated from Bar & Restaurant — which was a major upgrade. Unlike last year when World Tea Expo bled into the Bar & Restaurant Expo, this year, the tea side of the expo was more isolated. Once you reached the tea section of the expo, it was so much easier to stay within the tea side of the expo. Compared to last year, this was one of my favorite upgrades from last year. One of my other favorite aspects of World Tea Expo this year was getting to meet so many people from all over the world of tea that I have known for the entirety of my career, and meeting them in person for the very first time. It was utterly surreal. Group-photo with various vendors and tea bloggers, writers, and educators. However, this wasn’t enough to save my experience with the 2023 World Tea Expo. One of the first jarring things about the convention was that the health department was going around the expo — fining booths for not having a permit to give samples and shutting down said booths from continuing to give samples because they didn’t buy the ‘correct package through World Tea Expo’ to allow them to serve samples under a permit…. (Neldon of Tea With Neldon currently talked about this issue further here) Another thing that I found incredibly jarring, is that one of the other (anonymous) speakers for the expo, was consulting several people about using social media like “a game”. She told these individuals that marketing on social media is random and they should hope to hit it big by going viral… She also stated over a half-dozen times that she was handed her position in the family business and initially didn’t know anything about marketing... Despite that, the most damning aspect surrounding World Tea Expo this year was one massive element that the people running the expo missed big time: They don't want the world of bloggers, freelance writers, and educators. The expo believes the writers, bloggers, and educators, only appear to the expo to, in quote, “Take free stuff.” Yes. This revelation began with this year’s exclusion of Blogger’s Round Table — one of the first World Tea Expos in the history of the show to not include bloggers officially (or unofficially). With this, I went to one of the expo organizers and requested that the bloggers, freelance writers, and educators be granted a meet-and-greet so they can get the chance to meet other professionals in the industry. After coming up with a game plan, I received a phone call two weeks later from World Tea Expo. One of the representatives for World Tea Expo and Questex (the parent company who owns World Tea Expo), told me verbatim that, “World Tea Expo doesn’t want bloggers attending the expo this year. The expo doesn't want you. Last year, vendors complained that too many bloggers asked for too much free stuff, and if bloggers and freelance writers want to be involved with the Expo, then they need to pay their way and promote the expo if the expo wants to take them seriously.” This representative then told me that it was out of my place to suggest a meet-and-greet for the expo, and it would not happen. After having this disturbing phone call with this representative, she then claimed that if any bloggers wanted to work with the expo, they’d have to go through her — despite that she was not going to be attending the expo herself. After this phone call, I verified the validity of this representative by reaching out to one of the expo organizers — who confirmed the validity of this said-representatives. To add, all but one of all of the various bloggers and freelance writers who applied for a press pass got approved. Half a dozen bloggers and writers that I personally know got rejected for a press pass; which only backs up the claim that the expo doesn't want us there. Let’s put this in perspective. World Tea Expo wants bloggers to personally pay travel expenses to pay for entry to an event, and wants to require them to promote the expo for free… Me during my incubator lecture, photo credit to the talent photographers atWorld Tea Expo One of the bloggers who attended World Tea Expo, who will stay anonymous for this article, got denied a press pass and spent a minimum of $1,300 to attend this year’s expo. This person in particular works in the world of tea and worked 60-80 hours a week for several months at above-minimum wage— just to be able to attend this year’s expo… According to the expo's representative, the expo’s view on this person is that this person only showed up for ‘the free stuff’. As far as bloggers who didn’t apply for a press pass, one anonymous blogger reported to me that they spent $2,500 out of pocket to travel and attend World Tea Expo. They said that they saved for the majority of 2022 after seeing my personal Instagram posts, just to be able to attend the expo. According to the expo's representative, the expo’s view on this person is that this person only showed up for ‘the free stuff’. To add, another anonymous blogger shared with me that they spent $904.00 alone on just World Tea Expo itself — not including travel or hotel. Since this person is a blogger and influencer, according to the expo, this person gave them $904.00 just on the expo to view them as someone who just showed up for ‘the free stuff. Lastly, another anonymous blogger also reported she spent $879 in total with the expo alone, and over $800.00 in travel expenses. At the time of this post, this particular blogger has shared 21 individual posts on social media with a following of around 1,300 people. If you take the $879 they spent as a blogger to the expo, and divide that by the current posts they’ve made promoting the expo, World Tea Expo has currently made $41.86 per social-media post this blogger has made in free marketing for the expo. They did it for the expo, for free. This person marketed the expo over 21 times for free. According to the expo's representative, the viewpoint that World Tea Expo has of this person, is that this individual is only there for ‘the free stuff’. Let the absurdity of that sink in. As for myself, after the expo compensated me for speaking, I spent over $600 out of pocket on travel. As a keynote speaker of the expo, when I asked an expo organizer if I could bring a family member with me to the expo as my plus-1 and bring them with me to the expo hall, below this paragraph is a screen-grab of their response… To add, keep in mind that I also connected a vendor with the expo, and the vendor bought booth space with the expo. Yes, after helping the expo gain a sale, they replied with the email response below in regards to bringing a family member to the expo hall with me… (Note how the email said, "no more free anything, sorry"... I had not been given anything for free prior to this.) And yet, somehow, they view me as someone who only showed up for ‘the free stuff’. In response to World Tea Expo, my family member did not go to the expo with me. And yet, this continues to get worse. To make the absurdity even worse, I ran into one of the Board of Directors of the expo while on the strip. I voiced all of my concerns and recalled the conversation I had with the expo-representative about the viewpoint the expo has on bloggers, writers, and educators. Their response was, "I see the initial point they were making, but they just worded it wrong." They then told me to email them complaint, and they'd forward it to the said-parties responsible... I felt both defeated and devastated. (This said-Board Member also made a point to avoid me through out the remainder of the expo. Twice, when walking in my direction, he quickly turned a corner once seeing me and hurried in a different direction....) Bloggers, educators, and free-lance writers for the world of tea make up a massive population of the world of tea, and after how much money tea bloggers spent out of pocket to support World Tea Expo, the least the expo could do is show compassion and humility for the people who helped bring success to it. After all, according to Zappa, Questex made $35.9 million USD in revenue in 2022. With how much money the expo is making, and how much bloggers, educators, and freelance writers are spending out of pocket to support the expo, the very least the expo can do is acknowledge the very existence of the people who helped get them there — much less offer a press-pass for bloggers who are giving them free marketing. Instead, they spit in their faces. World Tea Expo also needs to stop gate-keeping the tea experience by outsourcing their relationships with their bloggers, writers, and educators by filtering them through outside organizations. World Tea Expo is very keen on only working with bloggers through a single organization, when that said-organization hasn't been involved with the blogging world of tea in over 7+ years. Many bloggers, writers, and educators exist outside of the parameter of a single organization, and succeed in other various avenues. World Tea News sources their blogger relations with someone who has not updated their tea content since before 2014. To add, World Tea Expo also needs to vet their incubator speakers a lot better. I found it incredibly insulting that a professional publicly bragged about their nepotism in the industry, and reduce the highly-educated skill of marketing to ‘hoping to hit it viral’. If you work for World Tea Expo or Questex, I need you to read the following very carefully, and carefully pay attention to what I’m about to say: World Tea Expo needs to realize that bloggers, writers, and educators launch their careers in this industry despite that they do not personally profit from it. Bloggers, writers, and educators go into this industry in debt to the industry. They do not take from it but rather, give back to it without question. Bloggers, writers, and educators do not make money from the passionate work they do, but rather, they are in the hole with it. Despite that this passion is paid-for out of pocket, they still do it out of the sheer love and passion for the industry. As a passionate blogger and supporter of the World of Tea, and as someone who has poured their entire creative heart and soul into this industry, being able to speak at World Tea Expo should have been a special moment for me…. Instead, I feel insulted that I gave money, time, and attention to an organization that does not value me, my career, or my background. I also feel remorse that I have influenced people to attend this expo on my behalf, as they spent money on this organization to just be insulted and degraded in return. As for World Tea Expo, I am calling on World Tea Expo to apologize to the world of tea bloggers, tea writers, and tea educators for this massive blunder, and call on World Tea Expo to promise to work harder to do better for one of the largest and most passionate demographics that the world of tea has to offer….

Hello hello! Over the last few bloggiversary, I wrote about some of the biggest dramas in tea that I had experienced up to that point. While I was thoroughly convinced that the drama would even out, it did not. If 2020 taught us anything, expect the unexpected, and expect the ‘tea’ to be good. 7 years ago on this day, I started ‘The Oolong Drunk’ to write about my enjoyment of tea. Over the years, some people tried to make my cup of tea bitter. Along the way, I lost my narrative. Now, it's time I take my narrative back into my own hands and tell my side of the story. I solemnly swear to the book of tea, this is nothing but the truth, the whole truth, and my side as to what went down in the year of people trying to make my cup of tea bitter… Note: If you want to catch up on previous-year's bloggiversary posts, you can catch up here, 5 Years in Tea -- My Side of the Story 6-Year Bloggiversary: SOS! The Sinking of the RMS Tea Appropriation, or Sell Out? Last year, one individual decided to break through into the world of tea. With a Chinese heritage to back her up, and experience working with one of the more popular tea companies within the blogging company, she exploded into the scene. While taking the world of tea by storm, she made sure to use her heritage as a point of marketing. With this, when you bought her tea, you’re also buying a piece of Chinese tradition and culture. Except, at a high markup… After obtaining a virtual acquaintanceship with this woman, one thing became clear — there was only ‘one’ right way to honor her Chinese heritage. The gate to the door that opened up to her culture was the admission of $2-$5 a gram teas. While other tea companies sold the same teas for a fraction of the cost, those companies weren’t selling the guilt that came with the Anglo-Saxon treatment of Asian-American people in the West. To make up for an implied reparation, and $80 later, I did my diligence of making up for my society's racism… However, that wasn’t enough. Once receiving my tea, I made a slow-motion pour video of it and synced it to hip-hop beats. And when this woman saw that I had broken away from her image of what tradition should be, she felt offended. With her being offended, came her telling me her thoughts on how I wrongfully culturally appropriated her culture. Tea wasn’t meant to be paired with hip-hop, or be spilled or wasted. As a response, I replied to her — questioning if I had a say-so in how she spent my $80 after I bought her tea. With that, I was blocked by her on all social media accounts. Our acquaintanceship was over. Let me lay this out for you — if you are going to be told by the industry that you should make tea to your own enjoyment, then should it matter how I enjoy it? If this woman is going to up-sell her tea at a 600-800% margin and keep the access profit for herself, then how is she giving back to her own culture? I beg the question, what is worse? Me culturally appropriating her culture, or her selling out her culture? With my own culture of being gay, I have used my blog's platform to host several charity drives for The Trevor Project -- a charity that aids gay youth who struggle with suicidal thoughts as a result of the hate they receive for being themselves... As a minority in my community, when I say I will give back to my culture, my claims will be met with action -- not with 'pick-me' claims on Social Media... I will not pocket the profit for myself. As a lesson to this woman, if you partake in a capitalistic society where you will gate-keep the 2nd most drunk beverage in the entire globe, and pocket the extreme mark-up without contributing anything back to the same culture you’re exploiting for your own financial game, then you can kiss my gay-flat-ass as I pour tea to the sound of alternative hip-hop…. Tea Community God…. Complexes In this year's high-school drama, the 2022 Graduating Class will perform a new play at the theatre this year. For myself, I will play the part of Momma Bear. But before we start this Shakespearian drama, I must provide some exposition... Now and then, new tea bloggers will hop into the tea scene with a strong attitude that they’ll reach the top of the blogging community. They will look at photos of people gathering around a single person pouring tea. They will then think to themselves, “I want to be that person that’s the center of harboring a community. I want to be that person sharing tranquility with everyone. I want to be important and be looked up to, and I want to be the god complex that all of these people are looking up to. I want to be the next Uncle Iroh from Avatar The Last Airbender. I want to be important! Me! Myself! I CAN BE IMPORTANT! AHHH!” So they start a tea blog and start out strong. They will create incredible content, take beautiful photos, write well-written blog posts, and have virtual tea sessions with other tea bloggers with the intent of, “Drink a cup of tea with us! We’re important! Look at me!” — masking it behind the narrative that they actually love tea for the sake of it… And after 6-12 months, they start to realize one factor that they didn’t contemplate before starting their journey of "look how important and meditative I am!", is that within the West, the tea community is a small niche community. The top rung of social media popularity isn’t in the hundreds of thousands... It’s just in the hundreds. When these individuals see that they only have 2,000 followers on social media after blogging for several years, they become disappointed, quit their blog, and stop drinking tea altogether. So what does this have to do with today's period drama? This happened this year when a member of the tea-blogging community decided to quietly delete all their social media accounts. This individual's main goal was to harbor a tea community of their own, and without realizing, they actually obtained dozens of friendships along the way (some that lasted for 2-3 years, including my own personal friendship). I didn't blink an eye at his-quitting of blogging, until chatting with a mutual friend who was in near tears over being ghosted. After seeing this friend heartbroken and confused as to why this individual would leave the community they created and ghost everyone without an answer as to why (or much less without saying good-bye), I decided to go back to my high-school Drama/Theatre ways to play the role of ‘Momma Bear’ and go step in it… After digging around, I discovered that there was a point of contact for this individual — to message him through his girlfriend’s account. Yes. The only way to contact this blogger was to message his girlfriend who would play telephone for you. In ‘Cody’ fashion, I sent her a message — asking where this chicken-shit went. She replied, stating that he decided that they weren’t receiving the type of response they wanted and their blog wasn't as successful as they hoped. She indicated that they were disappointed that they didn’t obtain a larger audience for the tea community and didn’t get what they wanted out of it. Her message ended by expressing that her man-child-of-a-man would be rebranding and returning soon. I was in disbelief. After giving it thought, I remembered that he did harbor a community of people around him. He had a dozen committed friends who were always there for him whenever he needed it. The love these people had for him was real and was not conditional… Except, to all of our surprise, it was a condition to him. He cared, but only if he was able to obtain the popularity he sought after. Only if more people looked up to him like a meditative-harboring God. Now, in this part of the play, this is where I got my stage debut with my performance of 'Moma Bear', and ripped her/him (them?) to shreds... I replied to his femme-human-shield that he conditionalized his friendships with everyone he knew by deleting all of his accounts and ghosting his inner circle with no notice, by tying their friendships to his personal success. And if he were to come back to the community and re-brand, he should be embarrassed to show his face for being faker than all of Harvey Weinstein's illnesses that only ‘just so happen’ to appear on any given court date… That is when I took home the award for 'Most Melodramatic Acting by an Understudy'. What was my prize, you may ask? I received a very shiny 'block' from her... In retrospect, I do feel like an actual high-schooler for inserting myself into something that never involved me. I did take on the role of ‘Momma Bear’ way too seriously. But the moral of the story? First, this is the last drama I inserted myself in a drama that never involved me. I need to grow up. Second, as a tea blogger, you’ll never reach the heights of any of the beauty-brand social media influencers. The tea industry doesn’t tend to the garden known as ‘bloggers’ (…this is another can of worms for another time). But if you think you’ll be breaking into the tea industry as the next Uncle Iroh from Avatar The Last Airbender, with the purpose of ‘me’, then you won’t be harboring a tea community — you’ll only be tricking it… Burning Bridges, Let’s Repair Them On one Tuesday morning, I woke up with a fever of 103°f. My body was in pain all-over, and I was delusional (…more than normal). I crawled to my car and managed to drive myself to the ER. However, upon pulling up to the ER, I realized I was in too much pain to get out of the car. I called for help, was wheeled into the ER, and was immediately pumped with fluids. After several tests and awaiting results, I had a harrowing thought… The next physically closest person in my life was around 800 miles away I’m in the middle of Colorado by myself. I left the ER later that evening with the diagnosis of a nasty virus that I can’t spell or pronounce. But with this virus, came along a panic-attack that lasted for well over a week. The idea of loneliness became a virus of its own. However, after I called and talked to my best-friend Luke about my existential crisis, I made a realization… He picked up the phone on the second ring when I called him. He listened to my fears. And he validated them. And shortly after, my panic began to fade away. Later that week, another few friends named Molly and Karissa and I talked on a 3-way, and they asked me about my well-being. And they really listened, and truly cared about what I had to say. And not long after, I flew to Chicago to host an event with Spirit Tea. While there, my friends Chase, Marco, and Nicole took me around the city and we had our own adventure. And earlier in the year, I got to meet my close friend Neldon for the very first time at World Tea Expo. And at World Tea Expo, I met my other close friend Nicole for the very first time as well. And in September, I got to serve tea at Luke’s wedding and celebrated his wedding to a wonderful person named MacKenna. And a month later, I was in Oregon — having a massive tea party with Luke and MacKenna. I also met friends such as Ethan, Molly, Chris, Karissa, Geoffrey, and a few others who were also there — spending time with me. Now that I’m reflecting at the times I spent alone and isolated in 2022, it was evident to me that I wasn’t really alone — I was showered by the care of the individuals who made a conscious effort to love me for who I am. And to add to these individuals, there’s a huge sleuth of others who I have yet to meet in-person. Despite being virtual, these friends show love to me all the same. These people have shown me love, light, and friendship. I might have been hundreds of miles away from the people who I care about, but their love covered me like a warm blanket. Their love gave me the strength to climb up and out of my crisis, and continue forward. Now that I’ve been in tea for 7 years now, I gained one thing that I never imagined ever obtaining and never sought after— a family of people whose love and friendship made me a special person. And it’s all because of one common interest…. With them, I know my 7th year in tea will be a remarkable one <3 So haters, if you’ve made it this far… Remember to not hide behind your girlfriends to end a half-dozen friendships for you, and to not tell me that I can’t listen to whatever the hell I want to when drinking tea. And haters, fuck you… and thank you for the motivation. With much love, ~Cody Wade Aka The Oolong Drunk “Blissfully Tea Drunk With…”

Hello hello! Ever since trying white-tea matcha, I’ve been more than curious to venture out and try more matcha teas on the unordinary matcha spectrum. In doing so, I stumbled across the color palate of tea and was sent Blue Matcha by David’s Tea because the opposite of white is obviously blue). Along with Blue Matcha, they also sent me a palate of 8 other flavored matcha teas as well as a bag of their coconut matcha! Now that blue matcha is sold out, should David's Tea bring it back? Which of the flavored matcha teas were the best? Let's dive in! Flavored Matcha For the flavored matcha teas, there were 8 flavors that came in miniature tins that came as their Matcha Love tea sampler. For the flavors, they come as raspberry, earl grey, maple, vanilla, peach, strawberry, blueberry, raspberry, and cherry blossom. My favorites: Out of the flavored matcha teas David’s Tea sent me, I have to say that the Earl Grey matcha was my favorite to make hot, as well as the maple and vanilla matcha. As for the fruity flavored matcha teas, I enjoyed them better when made iced. As far as the Earl Grey matcha goes, this was my favorite to make. The notes of sweet and bergamot blended beautifully with the creamy grassy notes that come naturally to matcha. Because of the earthy and fruity way that bergamot naturally presents itself, along with the creamy grassy notes of matcha, it almost created a fruity pebble milk-like flavor note. When hot, this truly hits the spot. Coconut Matcha: With the coconut matcha, I loved this tea best iced. Since I try to make myself look busier than I am, I’ve been taking a measuring spoon and dumping a hefty whomp of this into my protein-powder shaker bottle, and angrily shake it like it's one of those shake-weight exercising machines. I usually know when to stop because it's when my violent-shaking-of-the-matcha catches the attention of my cats. When they look overly concerned, that's when I know it's ready. The coconut matcha was very surprising, mainly because of how naturally sweet it was. I usually associate coconut with stress (b/c lets be real, they’re more hard-headed than I am when it comes to opening up). However, the coconut’s flavor profile was so creamy and smooth that it made the matcha powder’s notes even more soft and fluffy. The creaminess, and the sweetness, is enough to make this one of the best flavored iced-tea drinks I’ve had in quite a while. Blue Matcha: As someone who sometimes has a short attention span, I must say that anything oddly colored and edible will almost instantly catch my attention. That’s why the Blue Matcha is something that I needed to try. Upon opening the package of Blue Matcha, the aroma of a Jolly Rancher radiated from the bag. The powder was blue/grey, and looked intriguing. When tasting the blue matcha, the natural sweet raspberry notes brushed across the tongue while leaving behind a nice grassy-earthiness. While hot, it was smooth and fluffy to the tongue. While making it iced, the teas natural sweetness became even more noticeable up front. And while making it iced with edible glitter, the tea and I both became fabulous. Kourtney Kardashian could never, I now got a sparkly blue iced drink with my big sun-shades, livin' my baddie insta-life...... Look out regatta moms, we're here to show you how its done. #swag Overview: Overall, I really enjoyed this experience. With their flavored matcha teas, and underneath all of the flavors, you could still taste the matcha tea itself. Usually when companies make flavored teas, they use a lower-quality base and cover up the quality by over-flavoring their teas. As far as David's Tea goes, despite being flavored, they used a higher-quality base material that made these teas more well-rounded and more enjoyable. In the end, I ended up loving them. David's Tea should certainly bring Blue Matcha back! While I'm usually more skeptical of larger tea companies, I would say David's Tea is an amazing example that proves that a large company doesn't equate to loss of quality. Many tea drinkers have been burnt out by being served low-quality tea by larger entities, so having someone like David's Tea in the world of tea is absolutely refreshing. I can't wait to see what they come up with next... :) ~The Oolong Drunk "Blissfully Tea Drunk"

Hello hello! A few years go, I released my top 15 albums to drink tea to for the end of year of 2020! (catch up here!) I was going to prepare a list for 2021, but lets be honest here. There was maybe only 4 good albums to come out of 2021. Regardless of genera, 2021 was an embarrassment for the music industry... However, now that we're knee-deep into 2022, it has become evident that all of the talent left behind in 2021 was somehow throttled into 2022! Since so many amazing works of art have been released this year, I thought it would great to release my list of the best albums released in 2022, to drink tea to! Just like the previous-years list, I have a few guidelines to suggest to follow along with! Listen to these albums in their entirety. These albums are a journey, and just like a tea session, you cant jump in the middle and start on the seventh infusion (or 7th album track). While listening to these albums in their entirety, don’t skip any of the tracks. To add, especially add, listen to these albums in their intended order and not on shuffle. Let the artist take you on the intended journey. It’s very important that you take a deep breath, close your eyes, and try to physically place yourself in both the music and tea. If possible, were headphones to immerse yourself further into the music and tea…. With these suggested guidelines in place, I want to stipulate that the following albums have exclusively been released in 2022. When doing the year-end list, the album's current placement may change. Now that we've gone over everything, lets move on to the list! 10. (Album Art: Property of Daughters of Cain Records) Artist: Ethel Cain Album: Preacher's Daughter Tea Pairing: Black Tea Secondary Tea Pairing: Shou Puer or White Tea About this Album: If you were born in the 90's, than this album might remind you of something you used to listen to while in high-school. This alt-rock album borders on the line of chill, and psychedelic. This album's tracks effortless flow together to create a cohesively smooth, and moody journey. The song's lengthier runtime is perfect for getting lost in each individual song. This atmospheric anxt is meditative, and will pair perfectly with your tea session... 9. (Album Art: Property of 4AD LTD) Artist: Jenny Hval Album: Classic Objects Tea Pairing: Sheng Puer Secondary Tea Pairing: White Tea or Black Tea About this Album: Jenny Hval's back-yard Portlandia ukulele-girl album is both soft, massive, and audience captivating. Her singer/songwriter style bleeds perfectly with her alternative pop/rock production, and bings forth a vulnerable breath of fresh air. This album is Fiona Apple adjacent as far as artistic goes, and is a brilliant album to listen to with your next tea time. 8. (Album Art: Property of Aly & AJ Music LLC) Artist: Aly & AJ Album: A Touch of This Beat... (Deluxe) Tea Pairing: Aged Sheng Secondary Tea Pairing: Fresh Sheng Puer or Green Oolongs About this Album: While this album initially released the year before, the new deluxe tracks of Aly & AJ's 'A Touch of this Beat' adds beautifully to make this album fresher than ever. Disney star's Aly & AJ bring forth a mid-2000's pop-rock production that reminisces of a 1960's California sun-bleached postcard with tie-dye synths. Overall, this album is great to listen to with your tea session because not only is this album refreshing, it's also groovy in a mediative way. 7. (Album Art: Property of Future Classic) Artist: Flume Album: Palaces Tea Pairing: Fresh Sheng Puer Secondary Tea Pairing: Heicha or Aged Sheng Puer About this Album: Australian-born synth artist used influences from all of his previous works to make the perfect combination of electronic music and pop music. Flume's Palaces has many incredible features through out the album, while creating a wide-range of emotion through distortion and synths. While some of these songs are flat-out ear worms, this album will help place you in a trance that will make you want to drip your next tea leaf on your tongue like a sheet of acid... 6. (Album Art: Property of Jagjaguwar; Secretly Group) Artist: Angel Olsen Album: Big Time Tea Pairing: White Tea Secondary Tea Pairing: Roasted/Oxidized Oolongs or Shou Puer About this Album: This highly-anticipated album os one helluva ride. Angel Olsen bends the rules with country music and meshes with rock, and ends the album with 4 blues/jazz tracks that punches your gut over the hills and into the sunset... The second half of this album is not only a masterclass in songwriting and lyricism, it also brings forth some of the best songs produced in all of music in 2022. The rawness of Angel's vocal performance will infuse harmonically with your next tea session. 5. (Album Art: Property of Asylum Records UK, Warner Music UK Limited) Artist: Charli XCX Album: Crash Tea Pairing: White Tea Secondary Tea Pairing: Fresh Sheng Puer or Black Tea About this Album: Charli's tong-in-cheek 'sell out' album bring back the 80's while channeling both Paula Abdul and Janet Jackson. Crash is a fun pop-album that is funky, nostalgic, and sexy to listen to. Crash is a masterpiece in pop music because as a whole, this album is both thrilling and balanced. Crash is amazing to listen to with your next tea session because not only is it a a fun album to listen to, it'll have you head-bopping along with your next cup of tea... 4. (Album Art: Property of Noble & Brite LTD and EMI Records) Artist: Kate Bush Album: The Dreaming Tea Pairing: Fresh Sheng Puer Secondary Tea Pairing: Shou Puer or Black Tea About this Album: Okay, before you start in on how this album was released in1982... Kate Bush is timeless, and because she's timeless, it means she's still relevant today. The Dreaming is legendary to the Queen of Pop, Kate Bush, because it's the first albums in her discography she wrote and produced herself. With her Shakespearian 'High School Theatre Kid' energy, this album is the sheer invention of art-pop in itself. To have such a monumental, yet incredible journey of an album that exists in all of our lifetimes, Kate Bush is one of the most incredible musicians to ever live. She's always an amazing choice, especially when pairing with tea. 3. (Album Art: Property of Promised Land Recordings Limited) Artist: Koffee Album: Gifted Tea Pairing: Green Oolong (unroasted) Secondary Tea Pairing: Sheng Puer or White Tea About this Album: Koffe brought forth one of the most incredible albums in music in 2022. With this, Koffee lit reggae ablaze. While re-awakening modern society to how fresh and incredible modern reggae can be, she created an atmospheric soundscape that's easy to fully submerge yourself in. This album is amazing to pair with your next tea session, because you will also be transported to a new plane of existence... (This album is like Solar Power by Lorde, except, it's reggae and it's actually good). 2. (Album Art: Property of Dead Oceans Records) Artist: Mitski Album: Laurel Hell Tea Pairing: Shou Puer Secondary Tea Pairing: White Tea or Sheng Puer About this Album: The long-awaited return of Mitski came with one of the most powerful albums in 2022 (so far). Mitski came out of retirement at the ripe ole' age of 31 to release an album that is 80's synth/Abba inspired. Laurel Hell is an emotional roller coaster that leaves Mitski the most vulnerable as she's ever been. Just like a good tea session, when this album closes, you wish that it could keep going and never end... Mitski's emotional and vulnerable delivery is what makes this one of the best album's to drink tea with (so far) in 2022... 1. (Album Art: Property of Ploydor Records Release, Universal Music Operations Limited) Artist: Florence & The Machine Album: Dance Fever Tea Pairing: GuShu Sheng Puer Secondary Tea Pairing: White Tea or Oolong (any) About this Album: The dog day's will alway's be here for Florence Welch, because one after another, her albums keep getting better and better. Dance Fever is the perfect combination of understanding the never ending rollercoaster of emotions that comes with surviving the pandemic. While this album touches a chord with how the pandemic left us feeling angry and upset, it also resonates with a vulnerable lust for us to keep moving forward, regardless of the anxiety that comes along with waking up the next day. Dance Fever's production is flawless, and beautifully carries any tea session you have with it... ~ Now that the year us more than half over, we shall see what's left in store for the world of music! Do YOU agree with this list? Join the discussion on Instagram and tell me your thoughts! See you at the end of 2022! ~The Oolong Drunk Blissfully Tea Drunk Disclaimer: Album covers are not owned by me and are utilized by fair-use. They may be copywrited material, used under fair-use, for the purpose of highlight various works of art.

Hello hello! Steeped Tea is an online app that can guide you on how to make your tea — a project that’s spearheaded by a few fellow-tea addicts in Germany. Along with the app, you’ll also get invited to their online community on Discord, and also offer tea subscription boxes that can be drunk with fellow users of the app. To learn more about Steeped Tea, they sent me one of their subscription boxes! When opening the box, I was greeted with three teas that included a Japanese Oolong, a Nepalese Black Tea, and a Long Jin Green Tea! The subscription box also included a QR code to download the app as well as a sticker. One of the things I noticed was the fact that the teas included in the box were from companies that I have heard of before, but never ordered from. When joining Steeped’s Discord channel, I was warmly greeted by a few of the app’s users, including Tristan — one of the head developers and owners of Steeped Tea. I poked my head around the channel for a bit, and also introduced myself to everyone there. Afterward, I downloaded their app and browsed around for a bit. Upon opening the app, I saw a large comprehensive list of different tea types. From there, you can pick the tea you’re drinking and select the parameters of how you’re brewing it. Once finish customizing the tea selection, the bottom of the page will have a ‘start instruction’ button that will guide you through how to brew the best possible version of that tea. After making a session of tea using the app, I realized that this app did two things — it held your hand and guided you through making a cup of tea, as well as taking the guesswork away. It was simple and easy to use. I was blown away. When I finished playing with the app, I went back to the discord to say hello to everyone, but due to mild anxiety and my ability to procrastinate every single thing I do, I just read the current day’s thread before going on reddit to bitch about other people's political views… Overview: My initial reaction to the idea of Steeped-Tea was, “Oh look, another tea app.” However, when using it, I regretted putting it off as long as I had. To add, you could tell when using the app (as well as the discord channel) that accompanied the subscription box, that this was created by somebody who was really passionate about tea. All of my expectations for the app were quickly defied after exploring it. As far as the subscription box goes (which sits at around $38.00 USD at the current rate of Euro-to-USD conversion), I was pleasantly surprised by the high quality that these teas were. As a tea drinker, it’s easy to stay comfortable within my own bubble. It was great to be pushed outside of my bubble, and be met with amazing teas. As far as the Discord channel goes, I can’t imagine myself using it much. It’s not due to a flaw of the channel itself, it’s more or less because I like to drink tea in my underwear on my couch and browse instagram while being needy to my cats… I don't like change. As far as the app goes, I couldn’t see myself using it for gong-fu brewing tea… Let’s face it, I’m perfect (haha). However, as I try to keep expanding on my tastes in tea, especially with how I brew tea, this app will come in handy to help me find a comfortable starting point with teas that I have little-to-no knowledge of. I believe others will find this aspect to be incredibly helpful, and in my opinion, this is where this app strikes gold. I know that this app was in development for quite a long time, and the passion and hard work really paid off. I think this app is incredible, as well as the work Tristan and the Steeped Team is currently doing. We’re all lucky that we have them to help drive tea forward, and to help the tea community grow. ~The Oolong Drunk “Blissfully Tea Drunk”

Hello hello! As we all know, matcha is a Japanese green tea that's ground into a powder. However, what many of us do not know is that many tea companies from all over the world have been milling their own teas into unique powders. While there's a debate going on whether other tea-powders can still be called matcha, Kiani Tea sent me a package of their White-Tea matcha! This unique tea started out as a Fuijan white tea, and, still is? Just, matcha-powder form! So how is this unique treat? Let's find out! Price: $6.50 per 5g sample Infusions: 1 Infusion 1: Like a typical Japanese matcha tea ceremony, I sifted this matcha into a bowl to break up any clumps. I then added a tiny bit of water and whisked it in to make, well, whatever the white-tea version of koicha is. After trying to make the initial paste, I tasted the white-tea koicha and got the sticky notes of a bitter ’Body of Christ' communion wafer. After having to wash my hands from the stickiness, I added more water to the paste and whisked it like I would any other matcha powder. When sipping this tea, my taste buds were re-reminded of catholicism again but with less of a bitter punch. After adding more water to help with the bitterness, the majority of this tea's physical matter sank to the bottom of the bowl... This became evident when I took my last sip of the bowl when I got a mouth full of Pepto Bismol-like texture of a woodsy-tasting Jesus-cookie tea. That is also when I also noticed that my fingers were stained a darker shade of beige from when I tried the koicha from earlier... The session was over. Conclusion: First off, I want to preface everything by saying that Kiani Tea is a wonderful tea company and I have always been a fan of theirs. This specifically, is a poignant tea that is definitely worth having as a learning experience and worth trying as a novelty. While I might not have initially clicked with this specific tea, Kiani does carry other incredible teas that are quite enjoyable. However, I do appreciate Kiani Tea for continuing to try new things and will continue to try anything new and unique they may release. As for my opinion on if this should properly be called a 'matcha' or not? I can most certainly say with confidence that my personal opinion of whether this would be called a 'matcha tea' or not is ~ The Oolong Drunk "Blissfully Tea Drunk"

Hello hello! This year, from March 21st through March 23rd, and after nearly 6 and a half years of tea blogging, I finally attended my very-first World Tea Expo! However, this year, the World Tea Expo merged with the Bar & Restaurant Expo in Las Vegas, Nevada. After plans for the World Tea Expo being hosted in Denver Colorado being canceled, and moving to Vegas, how did it all go? What was noteworthy, and what were some of the main takeaways? Let's dive in! Expo Hall, Day 1: On the first day of the World Tea Expo, I met up with Nicole of Tea For Me Please and Neldon of Tea With Neldon at the entrance of the expo hall. There was a massive crowd of people waiting at the entrance, and while waiting for the ceremonial rope to be cut, I turned around and spotted Chase of ‘Davids Tea Share a Day’. Quickly thereafter, the four of us waited by the Expo Entrance for the expo to open. After standing by a DJ Booth for fifteen minutes, and after CNN filmed the ceremonial rope-cutting, the expo began! After walking past 70% of the Restaurant portion of the expo, we quickly arrived at two massive spinning pillars that displayed the ‘World Tea Expo’ logos. And after another row, we made our way to the tea bar — which provided ceremonial ‘World Tea Expo’ cups… Except, stating ‘Denver Colorado’ and a sponsor that wasn’t there. It was quirky, but it made it more memorable! After traveling through the first row, which was dedicated to new up-and-coming tea shops, I happily met Nepal Tea — a tea company from New York, New York. We also continued our way through Flowerhead Tea, as well as other tea start-ups. We even got to meet the Chai Box! However, the most intresting booth on this row was a booth by Matche — who made a matcha-powder tea by using the leaves of olive-tree leaves… Yes, this tisane of a drink is exclusively made with olive leaves. To add, this intriguing drink was herby, and also tasted like olive oil… Throughout varying rows of the expo, we also got to meet SugiMoto Tea, who was impressively providing demonstrations of a tea ceremony using their sencha and matcha, as well as Marumatsu Tea Co. doing matcha demonstrations as well as proving intricate Iced-Brewed Japanese teas! We even got to see a ‘boba robot’ — a fully-automated boba-making robot! After exploring the expo, we ended the day by attending ‘Tea Tycoons’ — an event that was the tea industry’s version of Shark Tank! This was especially interesting because across from the stage, the Fireball booth (alcohol) had actual fire reformers breathe fire in contingent with 'Tea Tycoons'. Expo Hall, Day 2: On day two, Nicole, Neldon, Chase, and I started our day at the expo by joining some of the talks. Given that I was running around Vegas like a mad man trying to return my rent-car, I missed the talks I wanted to attend (Nicole of Tea For Me Please’s talk, as well as a talk by Key to Teas on the downfall of Teavana). However, I barely arrived on time for the blogger’s-round table! While on the round-table, famous New York Model JoAni Johnson facilitated a conversation between Nicole of Tea for Me Please, Babette of T-Ching, and I. After talking about varying topics regarding the world of blogging and the tea industry itself, we went back to the Expo Hall to make our final stops around the expo. While going back through the Expo Hall, we stopped at the Harney & Sons booth where I met Mike Harney! While meeting Mike Harney, we spotted a celebrity in the wild — James Norwood Pratt! James Norwood Pratt is a US-Author and a pioneer in tea culture in the US. While talking to James Norwood Pratt with Mike Harney, Nicole of Tea for Me Please, Neldon of Tea With Neldon, and Chase of Davids Tea Share a Day, I realized that this trip was something special, and something I would remember for a very long time to come… Overview/Conclusion: When reflecting on the 2022 World Tea Expo, I noticed that the world of tea is in the middle of a massive transition. Attending the expo made it very evident that the world of tea had been heavily and negatively impacted by the Covid-19 pandemic. This was evident by the massive amount of regular Tea Expo Vendors who couldn’t attend this year due to their own countries' Covid-19 travel restrictions, as well as the absence of massive US-based tea companies — some of which no longer exist. Another thing I noticed in reflection was, when initially getting into tea, there was a massive amount of tea bloggers and tea writers spread across the board. However, now, that umbrella doesn't really exist anymore. Outside of Nicole, Neldon, Chase, and I, there wasnt a large presence of tea bloggers and writer present. However, despite that the pandemic has hit the industry particularly hard, I noticed that the majority of exhibitors at the expo were relatively new in age. Or, brand-new to be exact. There’s a massive absence of veteran tea pioneers, which thankfully, there were so many new and up and passionate people there trying to fill the gap that was created by the pandemic. Another thing I noticed across tea people (especially at the Expo), in the general sense, is that many of them were upset/angry that the World Tea Expo merged with the Bar & Restaurant Expo. While I do understand that the world of tea is special to us, I also understand that if the world of tea does not continue to grow, it will cease to exist as we know it. Now is not the time to gate-keep our own experiences with tea and restrict it, and now is not the time to restrict how people enjoy and discover tea. It is absolutely detrimental to the survival of tea culture in the United States that we continue to expand and grow, and continue to share the love of tea. I think the Bar and Restaurant Expo merging with the World Tea Expo was a success, and this became evident when flying back home to Denver from Las Vegas. On my flight back home, a woman sitting in front of me was explaining to the woman beside her how she didn’t realize tea was as big as it was and felt inspired to incorporate tea into a chain of restaurants back at her home. Seeing so many bar and restaurant owners, as well as massive food and beverage entities, discovering tea for the very first time was exhilarating! Overall, I will certainly attend World Tea Expo in 2023! I’d say that this was an excellent experience overall and believe the industry is headed in the right direction. My main takeaway from this year's expo is: We all need a wake-up call about gatekeeping tea. It is imperative that we invite all sorts of people into tea with open arms, and do our absolute best to support the small tea shops that are currently filling the gaps that were left by tea-industry giants. I was just a gay kid from Texas battling depression, who was introduced to tea. And Nicole from Tea for Me Please was just a woman from New Jersey who enjoyed tea. Neldon is a college kid from Utah who got into tea for just the love of it…. And we’re all connected and celebrate a shared passion for the world of tea. If it wasn’t for someone introducing us to tea, all of our lives would be very different. Who knows? Maybe the next time you invite a cup of tea to someone new to it, it could inspire them to move the world of tea further into the future… ~ The Oolong Drunk "Blissfully Tea Drunk With"

Hello hello!! Welcome to comprehensive guide on how to get into gong-fu brewing tea! Gong-fu brewing tea can be a lot of fun, but for someone whose unfamiliar, it may be daunting. While trying to make learning come with ease, use my guide as a starting point to get yourself familiar with gong-fu! But first, what exactly is gong-fu? Gong-Fu Simple Definition: Gong-Fu is the Chinese ceremonial way of making tea. Gong-Fu More Detailed Definition: Gong-Fu is a ceremonial way of making tea by repeatedly brewing a large amount of tea in a given vessel to analyze the change in tea, and to maximize the wide-variety of tasting notes of a tea’s profile while getting as much out of a tea-leaf as possible. Sounds great! But how would I do that? Before I answer that, I’m going to give you a hot-take: You’ve probably already made tea gong-fu style tea before and didn’t even know it! Let me ask you a question. Have you ever brewed a tea-bag a 2nd time? Or re-infused tea leaves in a teapot multiple times? Wha-la! You’ve loosely made tea gong-fu style! Although it may not be ceremonial to Chinese tea-culture, re-brewing already brewed leaves is the most basic way to complete gong-fu! However, the way of making it more-traditional may seem complicated, but in reality, it’s not! Technically, you only need one brewing vessel to make tea. That’s it. Everything else can be make-shift, or do without! What's a vessel? What are the different types, and what do I need? I’m glad you asked! A ‘vessel’ is a piece of teaware you make tea in! This can be a teapot or a mug! However, for gong-fu, there are several different kinds of vessels that you should familiarize yourself with Gaiwan: The simplest way to describe a gaiwan is to say it’s a small handleless bowl with a lid. They sometimes come on a saucer, and can be made out of porcelain (the most common), clay, glass, or even silver! The basic idea behind a gaiwan is that you put your tea in the bowl, pour water over it, close the lid, and when you’re ready to pour it out, tilt the lid ajar to hold back the leaves and pour out the liquid! (See photos below). However, when pouring a gaiwan, pace fingers at the edge of the bowl to avoid burning yourself! (To pronounce a gaiwan, say ‘Guy-Won’) Side-note. I see a gaiwan with a spout. What's that? Great question! If you see a gaiwan that has a spot on it, that’s what you’d typically call a ‘Hohin’! They’re typically used for Japanese teas, and different variations of them have made their way to different tea cultures around the globe. They pour like you’d pour a tea-pot, but just without the handle. Hold on, I’ve also come across a vessel that’s wide and flat in shape. Is that also a gaiwan? Actually, that’s not always a gaiwan! What you’re probably looking at is a ‘shiboridashi’! Around the tea community, you’ll see people reference it as a ‘shibo’ (like she-bo), and are typically used for Japanese teas! Japan's teas are some of the most delicate teas in the world, and easily singe and get bitter quickly. A shibo’s purpose is to keep the water’s temperature from staying too hot when brewing, and also used to quickly pour the brewed tea out of the vessel to avoid over-steeping. The fast-pour also explains why they have such a wide-opening and such a large lid. A tea-pot: For gong-fu tea, many places sell smaller tea-pots. They’re typically smaller than you’re average teapot, and unlike gaiwans, they have built-in filters! These tea-pots are famously made out of clay, however, they also can be made out of glass or porcelain. I saw a tea pot, but it has a long handle and the spout is to the side. Is this the same thing? Another great question! These work very similarly to a teapot, but they’re not. These have their own name, and they’re called a ‘Kyusu’! These are also used for Japanese tea, and have a much wider spout to quickly pour out the brewed tea to avoid over steeping. These pots are typically larger, and unlike using another vessel, these are typically used for only 2-3 infusions (whereas, in a traditional gong-fu session, you want to get more infusions out of it). Starting Gong-Fu, The Tea Ware You Will Need What to start with: A Vessel: To keep it simple, you can start with just a vessel. That’s all you really need. You’ll also want to find something to pour your tea in and drink from. The most commonly-used vessel in the world of gong-fu is a gaiwan. However, when looking for a gaiwan, if you’re making tea for just yourself, I’d recommend using one that’s from 60ml-100ml. To use a gaiwan, you'll place your middle-finger and thumb around the outer ridge of the bowl, and use your index finger to fold the lid down at a tilt. Then, lift the unit and tilt until tea pours out. See photo below... If you’re comfortable with adding a few more things to get the ball rolling, here’s what else you’ll need… A Kettle: You’ll want an electric kettle. The idea is, you’re consistently making tea. A kettle is great to quickly warm up your water and is easier to pour from compared to a pot on the stove-top. With an electric kettle, if given the option, you’ll want one that has a temperature reading on it. Since some teas are pickier to temperature than others (and to keep consistency with your tea session), it’s always good to keep up on the temperature of your water. Gong-Fu Tea Cups: These tea-cups are typically smaller, and will typically hold between 40ml-100ml of tea. These can be made out of various materials, and are great for sipping and concentrating on the tea you’re drinking. Cha Hai: A Cha Hai, also known as a serving pitcher, is what you’d typically pour your tea in! The idea is, you pour your tea from your vessel into a sharing pitcher and serve tea from it. This is so whenever you pour tea from cup to cup, everyone gets the same and consistent brew. If you poured from cup to cup, each cup of tea will have different strengths to it. This is important, especially for more delicate teas. However, If you’re drinking tea at home by yourself and you’re pouring directly into your cup, you might not necessarily need one. This is a personal preference. Tea Tray/Tea Table: A tea tray, or also sometimes references as a tea-table, is what you serve your tea on. Tea trays typically have holes or slots, and a tray or cavity underneath to catch spilled tea and water. Gong-fu tea isn’t necessarily the cleanest way of making tea, and spills will happen. They can be made out of bamboo, wood, or clay. Some people even use drip-baking trays for an affordable version of a tea tray. A scale: With gong-fu, you’ll sometimes want to measure out your tea. For this, I recommend getting a food-scale (or depending on where you live, you can find small scales at smoke shops). When measuring tea for gong-fu, you’ll typically measure tea in grams. However, you don’t necessarily need one, as some people just eye their tea. However, for people like me, a scale is always necessary. A filter: A filter is sometimes used in gong-fu to catch any tea-dust of tea leaves. This is optional. For me personally, I’ll use a filter to pour the tea through when taking photos or making tea for other people. When I’m by myself, it doesn’t bother me if a few tea-leafs specs end up in my cup. However, most filters are made of metal (aluminum) and are very affordable. So, I’ve also seen other tea-wares. What else is there? For other tea-ware, it's completely optional. Some people go further and use tea-towels to clean tea-trays, use separate trays for measuring tea on, as well as using carved pieces of wood to present the tea-leaves on! To add, some people decorate their tea-teas with decorative ornaments called ‘tea pets’. We’ll dive into these tea-wars later on, as I don’t want to get you too confused when starting. How to Gong-fu: First, you’ll want to heat-up your kettle to your desired temperature. How hot do I heat my kettle? Many different places say many different things about what temperature to are your tea at. For some teas (like green tea), it’s recommended to brew them at 170ºf. For other teas, it's much higher and can go up to boiling. I will go further into this in a separate upcoming post, however, I start every single tea at 190ªf, and will raise or lower the temperature from there. Note: Some people prefer to use boiling water for every single tea. However, in my personal opinion, I always steer away from doing so, as it will singe and burn most tea. However, if you’re confused about temperature, you can always see what the vendor of the tea you’re drinking recommends. I’m not trying to confuse you when I say this, but there is no right/wrong temperature to brew your tea at! You’ll read many different things, and above all, it’s up to you to experiment to see what you like best. For me, I always used temperature guides as a, well, guide. I actually implore you to venture out and see what you like best for yourself. My kettle is heated up. Now what? Next, you’ll want to measure your tea. For gong-fu, it’s important to stick with single-origin whole tea-leaves. Ground tea-leaves, or tea bags, will steep most of its flavor out almost instantly. So now you have your loose-leaf tea, I always recommend measuring 1 gram of tea per 15ml of water. What does this mean? Your vessel is a specific size and is typically measured by how much water it can hold. If your vessel holds 60ml of water, and to use 1 gram of tea per 15ml, then you’d use 4 grams of tea. I measured my tea. What next? Next, put your tea in your vessel, and put your water over the tea. Pour your water to the top of the vessel, and place the lid on. Then, quickly, pour the now brewed-tea out. That's it! However, in gong-fu fashion, you don’t stop there; you keep going! Next, you repeat the process by doing the same thing again, except adding a little more time to it! For every pour you do, which is called an ‘infusion’ or ‘steep’, you slowly add more time to compensate for the tea leaves diluting with every pour. Now I poured the tea, what else do I do? Once you pour your tea into your sharing pitcher (or cup), then it's time to drink and enjoy! You can continue with infusions, and keep the session going. Below are some FAQ’s, and other helpful tips, when making gong-fu tea! FAQ's: Q: Is a gaiwan specifically used for only Chinese tea? Can I use the same vessel for different kinds of tea? 3 Of course, you can! Most tea-drinkers use a gaiwan for everything from green tea, all the way to herbal blends! For me, I use my gaiwan and teapot for every single kind of single-origin loose leaf tea. It may not be the most traditional, but it’s up to you. Everyone tends to have their ‘one’. By this, I mean their ‘one’ go-to vessel they use for everything. For your tea vessel, you should connect to it like you would a pet. Some tea wares are a life-long connection. Q: I’m still confused with infusion times. What do you recommend? For most teas, I brew with the following, Infusion 1: 10 seconds Infusion 2: 20 seconds Infusion 3: 30 seconds Infusion 4: 40 seconds Infusion 5: 50 seconds Infusion 6: 1 minute Infusion 7: 1 minute and 20 seconds Infusion 8: 1 minute and 40 seconds Infusion 9: 2 minutes Infusion 10: 2 minutes and 30 seconds Infusion 11: 3 minutes Infusion 12: 4 minutes Infusion 13: 6 minutes Infusion 14: 8-10 minutes However, depending on how strong the tea is, I will repeat infusion times, or skip some. This is largely dependent on the tea, and also dependent on personal preference. I highly recommend you test out times of your own, and come up with a system you like! This may seem stressful, however, this is the perfect opportunity to explore your personal likes and dislikes. Try and have fun with it and make it your own! Q: Do I really need to measure my tea? Not necessarily. Like I said above, you can measure it by eyeing it, and add/take away infusion times based on taste. Q: How much water does my vessel hold? When ordering/buying a vessel, it should already say. If it doesn't, wanna know a neat trick? Place your vessel on a scale and tare to zero on grams. Pour water until the vessel until it’s full, and the amount of grams you see is the same amount of milliliters of water it holds! If it says your gaiwan holds 60 grams of water, it means it holds 60 milliliters of water. Q: I have a flavored tea-blend. Can I gong-fu it? Well, in theory, you can. However, most flavored teas are made with the intent of being brewed in a mug or a larger teapot. Gong-fu is mostly intended for loose-leaf tea, typically single-origin, so you can taste the different complexities and notes within a tea. Q: Can I add sugar/milk to my tea? You could, but I say no. I mean, the idea of gong-fu is to quickly pour it out, and to experience a tea as-is so it would defeat the purpose. Also, when making tea gong-fu, a tea's natural sweetness and creaminess can make itself known! Some tea's natural sweetness and creaminess can easily get lost when making tea in a mug or larger tea pot. Q: Where can I buy these teawares? I can’t recommend anyone specific (in the spirit of being non-biased for this specific post). However, I would browse a web-search, or even social media, and look around. Many tea vendors carry different tea vessels, and they shouldn’t be hard to find. For starting, I do recommend going with affordable options, until you decide to treat yourself to something expensive. Especially with starting, you’ll likely break something very easily. (No worries if you do! Everyone at every stage of their tea journey has broken their teaware). Q: I only have a mug and a defuser. Can I still? No worries! You can also infuse a tea bag or infuser multiple times. It wouldn’t be anywhere near tradition and wouldn’t get as much out of the tea (tease, profile, etc.), however, that doesn’t mean you can’t join in on the fun! However, just know that you’re limiting yourself to what you can get out of a tea, and highly suggest getting a vessel (like a gaiwan) geared towards gong-fu. Overall, keep in mind that this is supposed to be fun and meditative! Try to make this your own, and make tea in a way that makes you happy :) — The Oolong Drunk “Blissfully Tea Drunk”